Nonthreatening items not found on the news: a list

This week has been rough for this particular A’E editor, and considering the events that have… This week has been rough for this particular A’E editor, and considering the events that have been going on the world – a sniper running around the nation’s capital, our president’s decision to send us to war hanging in the balance, and nearby, our own neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods are threatened by streaks of violence and violation – I’m sure other people are a little shaken up, too.

While acts of war and violence are nothing new – humans have been dealing with the unpredictability of our own nature as long as we’ve had it – depending on how close they hit to home, startling events can still manage to throw the strongest of us.

This week, I’m not in the mood to ramble on about the nature of humankind, rather I’d like to focus on some random ridiculous things that may seem silly in the big picture, but which are still nice and comforting. Here’s my list.

1. Hot tea. This is such a ridiculous pleasure, but a cup of hot tea – even a tea bag in a paper cup of hot water – is a remembrance of the civility of the English, at least when they weren’t out colonizing less developed parts of the world.

2. Lemons. McSweeney’s published a book last year called “Lemon.” It’s about this man who, in the midst of tragedy, falls in love with one of the yellow, dimpled fruit. I can almost understand it. I mean, what’s not to love? They fit neatly in the palm of your hand and they make everything tasty.

3. Chad and Jeremy. These Brit popsters from the ’60s wrote the soundtrack to relaxed fun in the summer sun and carefree days; they were definitely not worried about political unrest and random acts of violence.

4. Skipping class. I don’t really ever skip class, but sometimes it’s really nice just to decide not to go, instead of doing something totally useless, such as taking a walk through the park or visiting someplace you’ve never been before.

5. Wearing a winter coat for the first time in the season, and conversely, the first time it’s too mild to wear a winter coat.

6. Free samples.

7. Mentos. The company has done such a good job with marketing that all you have to do is whip out a pack of their candies and people start smiling.

8. People who look like their dogs.

9. Dogs in sweaters.

10. “The Cosby Show.” I love Bill Cosby.

11. Sharp scissors.

12. Inky pens. OK, that’s the writer coming out of me.

13. The color red. Red is the color of passion and the color of warmth. It’s the taste of Big Red chewing gum and the smell of Christmas. OK, so red things such as vampy red lipstick and the term “code red” aren’t exactly safe and comforting, but still … red is on my list.

14. “Amelie.” This French movie is so great. Of course, that’s because it’s not really a French movie – you feel happy and joyful when you’re done watching it.

15. Handwritten letters.

16. Old-fashioned Mercedes-Benzes. They look like they’re smiling.

17. Children who talk to strangers. OK, children who talk to nice strangers.

18. The White Album. The Beatles made the best album ever when they recorded this funny collection of sharp-witted chansons.

19. The New Yorker. New Yorker writers can write 5,000 words about taking the trash out and make it interesting.

20. Happy endings that aren’t predictable.

21. Turning 21.

22. Finishing columns.