Following the Hollywood formula

Formula 51

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Meat Loaf

Directed…

Formula 51

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Meat Loaf

Directed by Ronny Yu

Apparently Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t think there are enough movies for 13-year-old boys. “Formula 51,” which he produces and stars in, isn’t going to please anyone else.

The violence is uncommonly mean-spirited and even repulsive at times. And most of it is played for laughs.

The humor is surprisingly lowbrow, not to mention completely unfunny. We’re talking the kind of gags you’d expect to see in “Dude, Where’s My Car?”

And the plot, well, it doesn’t get in the way.

It starts in 1971, with Elmo McElroy (Jackson) getting busted on marijuana charges the same day he receives his degree in pharmacology. The charges prevent him from ever practicing his trade legitimately, and he ends up working for “the Lizard” (Meat Loaf), a slimy drug kingpin.

Cut to 30 years later, Elmo is ditching his boss and heading to Liverpool to sell the formula for his new drug, which produces 51 times the effect of cocaine, acid, and ecstasy and is made with legal substances. Surprise, surprise, the deal goes awry, leaving Elmo, along with resident tough guy Felix (Robert Carlyle), to scramble for a new buyer while fending off Elmo’s old boss, the police, the local punks and the sexy female assassin (Emily Mortimer) on their trail.

And is there any point to all this? Any ambition to deliver more than just reckless destruction of people and property? An anti-drug message perhaps? Afraid not.

Jackson wears a kilt the entire movie for reasons that are never explained. That’s about as deep as things get.

There aren’t even any cool characters. They’re all kind of annoying. I mean, come on, how difficult is it to make Jackson look cool?

The actors sink to meet the occasion. Jackson is shockingly bad at times. Carlyle’s performance comes off as a diet version of his maniacal turn in “Trainspotting.” Only Mortimer does her job – she looks hot. And dangerous.

Overall, “Formula 51” is about on par with director Ronny Yu’s last film, “Bride of Chucky.” Yeah, it’s that bad.

Wait a month till it’s on video. Then, don’t rent it.