Living alone is best with a friend – any friend

As a little kid, I was terrified of the dark. Boogeymen and aliens lurked there, and the… As a little kid, I was terrified of the dark. Boogeymen and aliens lurked there, and the monster-under-the-bed was just waiting to snatch any feet that strayed from the confines of my narrow bed.

I got around this pretty well, though. I’d simply shake my little sister awake and pester her until the terror passed. She was just across the room, after all.

I grew up some and was less afraid of monsters but I still often needed someone to talk to. Living in a glorified closet in Holland Hall, my roommate was never more than an arm’s length away.

After my stint in dorms I moved in with my boyfriend. We got along swimmingly and I could overlook his sweaty socks and moldy towels as the premium for having a big hulking male around to save me from the terrors of Melwood Avenue. He did a decent job keeping ghosts and vampires at bay.

We broke up after a few years and I needed a new place to live, pronto. I took a room in a house full of kids my age. It wasn’t paradise but there was always someone home. We even had a serious haunting problem for the first few weeks we lived there, but we got through it. We just huddled together in the living room until the poltergeist moved along.

After the lease ended we had planned to stick together in another house. The plan fell through and so we all went our separate ways.

Everyone I knew had already made living arrangements for the coming year. It was far too late to get a dorm room and besides, I’m so over floorwide bathrooms. My only roommate option was – gasp! – yours truly.

At first I was terrified of the whole concept. What if there was a bump in the night? What if I locked myself out? Who could I “accidentally” wake up if I needed to talk? This was going to be awful.

I found a really lovely place at the right price in Souf Oaklin’. I conned a friend with a cargo van into helping me lug my crap up three narrow flights of stairs. Finally, everything was in place and she left. The first night fell. I went to sleep, completely alone.

When the phone rings, it’s always for me. If I want to jitterbug nekkid in the living room, nothing’s stopping me. I don’t have to worry that a sweaty roomie will mistakenly use my towel. My rat pal Zelda is allowed to roam freely and if she chomps on something, it’s my something so there’s no talk of restitution.

If I have an overnight guest, there’s no need for me to first do a recon mission to make sure my guest won’t encounter any roommates on the way to the bathroom. I’ll splurge on overpriced lotions and goos knowing I’ll be the only one using them.

There are drawbacks, of course. When I have nothing to wear, there’s no one else’s closet to raid. It’s always my turn to do the dishes or take out the trash. When I get sick of my music, the only option is to go by some CDs. I have left the house in outfits no fashionista roommate – or anyone with color vision – would allow her worst enemy to wear.

I do get lonely sometimes but there’s no one around to question my sanity if I get into deep philosophical discussions with Zelda. She never questions my taste in music or decorating.

I never find any freakin’ meat in my fridge and there are never strangers passed out on my couch on a Sunday morning. Everything is the way I want it.

I’m not as afraid of monsters these days. I’ve learned to keep my own company and even sometimes enjoy it.

I’ve resolved never to share a place with anyone who doesn’t have the same last name as me. In fact, if I ever do get married or have kids, they will most likely have to stay out back. I’ve found the coolest roommate ever and I’m sticking with her.

Melissa Meinzer ain’t afraid of nothin’. The nightlight is just for decoration. Say “boo” to her at mmeinzer@pittnews.com.