Tampa Bay brothers losing face

Just when you thought the sports world couldn’t get any crazier, along come the Tampa Bay… Just when you thought the sports world couldn’t get any crazier, along come the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to screw things up.

Would someone please tell the Glazer brothers, whose father owns the team, to just pick a new coach already? They really can’t embarrass themselves anymore than they already have.

Was anyone else upset with the way they handled the firing of Tony Dungy?

Not only did they fire him after he led the Bucs to the playoffs four of the last five years, but they went behind his back to find a new coach.

Dungy was the greatest coach Tampa Bay ever had, turning around a team that had cemented itself in the basement of the NFC Central and making the Bucs a perennial Super Bowl contender.

Had he actually been able to win a championship, Dungy’s miracle work would rank up there along with the job that Chuck Noll did with the Steelers in the 1970s.

Unfortunately, Dungy wasn’t given as much time as Noll, lasting just six years in Tampa, while Noll was with the Steelers for 23 seasons.

So out with Dungy and in with the guy the Glazers handpicked themselves, Bill Parcells. If anyone could help the Bucs win a Super Bowl, it would be the Tuna.

There’s just one problem – the Tuna didn’t want the job.

Not a bad decision, considering what happened to Dungy.

Next on the Glazers’ list was Jon Gruden. Hold on a minute, he’s still under contract with the Oakland Raiders.

No problem, say the Glazers, we’ll make it look like we’re trying to find a new coach by interviewing the Ravens’ Marvin Lewis. We’ll let him think we’re going to hire him, say the Glazers, but we really are still trying to find a way to get Gruden from the Raiders.

It reminds me of those girls in junior high who, when you asked them out, would say “I’ll think about it” with no intention of ever giving you an answer.

So the Glazers tell General Manager Rich McKay to try to get Gruden from the Raiders. The only problem is Oakland wanted more for Gruden than the Bucs were willing to give up.

Now McKay is set to go to work on making Lewis the team’s next coach. A contract is being prepared and the two start to assemble a coaching staff.

Not so fast, say those crazy brothers. They want to speak with Lewis face-to-face before hiring him.

After spending five hours with him at a Tampa restaurant, the Glazers decide that Lewis is not the guy they want and force McKay to look somewhere else for a coach.

Meanwhile, Lewis, who is in shock, heads back to Baltimore, ready to rejoin the Ravens. Instead, he ends up in Washington, taking over as the Redskins new defensive coordinator.

Now the Glazers really have no idea who their next coach will be. If things aren’t already bad enough, it seems McKay has decided that he will soon be done working for the Bucs, too.

Wow, what a story. But wait, there is more.

Enter Marv Levy, the Hall of Fame coach of the Buffalo Bills.

Levy offers to coach the Bucs for one year, allowing the Glazers to end their ridiculous process of finding a coach and to pursue Gruden when his contract is up after next season.

Sounds like a good idea, but the Glazers say no.

Perhaps hiring Levy would have made things too easy. Maybe they don’t like the idea of renting a Hall of Fame coach for one season.

Let’s not forget we are talking about the owners of a franchise who made something as frightening as a pirate look like an orange Muppet for almost 20 years.

So, to make a long story short, the Bucs still don’t have a coach, Levy and Parcells are still retired, Gruden is in Oakland, Lewis is in D.C. and McKay spent Monday on the golf course instead of at work.

As for the Glazers, they might be headed down the same road as Jerry Jones, just without the plastic surgery.

Joe Marchilena is a columnist for The Pitt News.