1. Dialing 412
Seriously, this is starting to piss me off.
2. The Poets of… 1. Dialing 412
Seriously, this is starting to piss me off.
2. The Poets of Rhythm’s Discern/Define
Making up for decades of unfunky Germans.
3. Club IG
I don’t think anyone saw this one coming.
4. The return of “The Family Guy”
Not as hilarious when viewed with parents. Trust me.
5. John Cusack and Julia Roberts in cheesy movie
We’d much rather see Joan Cusack and Eric Roberts.
6. Increasing amount of workdays missed due to phantom illnesses
Like having snow days in summer!
7. “Six Feet Under”
Yes, it is better than “The Sopranos” and “Sex in the City.”
8. People who wear visors
Heh, it looks good on you, though.
9. Speculation that Moby has cloned himself to maintain ubiquity
Fingers crossed that P. Diddy doesn’t get any ideas.
10. “Bridget Jones’s Diary”
Are all women this insane, or just British ones?
11. Lengthy treks to locate cheap gas
Put it in neutral when going down hills!
12. Yo-yos
Yes, they are as nerdy as ever, but so much fun when “healthy” enough to go to work.
13. Recent explosions of anti-smoking ad campaigns
Angry smokers are wheezing complaints all over the country.
14. Return of “Monopoly” at McDonald’s
Almost a reason to consume that crap.
15. Paul Reubens as game show host
He’s going to flop without Cowboy Curtis and Chairy to carry him.
16. Drew Carey on “Dennis Miller” this week
Are celebrities supposed to talk that much about porn?
17. Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz
It’s amazing how little I actually care. Really.
18. Slew of disappointing summer “blockbusters”
Clearly the reason for fluctuating gas prices.
19. Ananda Lewis’ Pepsi commercials
Carson Daly must be too busy in those chatrooms.
20. That upcoming show on Fox about college
Yet another yardstick against which to measure your apparently dreary life.
21. Pretending to be Carson Daly in a chat room
Amazing how many people believe you without hesitation.
Cotton Coslett has had a great time writing this column from its beginning. He also would like to think that some of you actually read it. Drop him a line at ewcst4+@pitt.edu, while he still has an address at Pitt.
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