Summer Guide: Summer’s getting hotter, but there’s no need to freak out

Summer: a time of grilled meats, baseball and, of course, the heat. 

The Fourth of July wouldn’t be the same if it was 20 degrees outside with 30 mph winds. But as temperatures rise slowly and surely in the United States, those of us frolicking in the sun are left wondering how much time it will take for liberals to start harping on climate change again.

Sure, the past year has displayed some extremely unusual changes in weather patterns, including the worst winter for the east in decades and a multi-state drought that has engulfed California. 

But it’s a bit of a buzzkill to discuss climate change. After all, a drought and a polar vortex aren’t nearly as pertinent as that 50-foot wave I saw in 2012. Trust me, we won’t have to actually worry about climate change until it’s staring us in the face — but even then it might be a hoax. You never know. 

Climate change is a suspicious concept. It just doesn’t seem plausible that humankind can change the weather. We can travel faster than the speed of sound, communicate with anyone in the world instantaneously and even split atoms, but the idea of inadvertently changing the climate is just silly. 

Yes, I am aware that — according to NASA — there is a so-called “consensus” among 97 percent of climatologists who disagree with my position. But you have to ask yourself, do you really trust NASA? Who do you think would be in charge of moving to Mars if the Earth became uninhabitable? Clearly they have ulterior motives in mind.  

Unsurprisingly, some people will automatically ask what could cause temperatures to rise at their current rate other than human activity.

The answer is what it has always been: nature. 

The Earth’s climate has changed periodically in the past — in fact, it was quite warm during the medieval period, though, the exact temperature and prevalence is actually quite murky. Regardless, meteorologists can barely tell the weather a week from now. It’s just too complicated. A 40 percent jump in carbon dioxide present in the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution can’t possibly trap heat and warm the Earth. Such an explanation is too simplistic for a complicated system like the climate.  

Remember, climate change is just a theory, like gravity. There are other plausible explanations for both phenomena.

Even if climate change is true, it doesn’t actually matter if Earth gets warmer. Sure, organizations such as the Union of Concerned Scientists, the American Medical Association and the National Academy of Sciences predict that it will result in some bad stuff — longer heat waves, more droughts, more floods, wildfires, rising sea levels, serious health effects, disruptions in the food supply and the destruction of plant life. 

But people make mistakes. No one knows what our future truly holds.

What is certain is that “going green” would negatively affect our economy. How could we deal with energy costs increasing during the time it takes to for new green technology to fully develop? Just think of how long it took for cell phones to evolve. 

The certain pain of going green will far outweigh mere doomsday conjecture — like the prediction made in a recently released, non-partisan report by the Risky Business project, which projected more than 60 billion dollars in costs resulting from coastal flooding and the effects of extreme heat. Even in the unlikely event that climate change is not a hoax, I’m confident future generations will be able to deal with it — thanks to our prestigious education system, of course. 

With that in mind, we should turn our attention to the motivations of the climate alarmists. The supposed effects of climate change are not severe enough to warrant their paranoia. For instance, Florida is not necessarily an essential state — think of all the old people who live there, wasting Social Security money — and droughts teach our citizens personal responsibility skills. 

There must be a seedier motive for these heat wave haters. 

Coincidentally, in 2013, the federal government spent roughly $1.4 billion on NASA’s climate change research program while the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration received $300 million. These organizations that compile data used as “proof” of climate change definitely have profit incentives in mind. 

There can be no doubt that climate change is just another political Frisbee used by the far left to propel their scheme to enrich windmill manufacturers and makers of electric cars. Climate change is a myth made by business-savvy scientists and liberals trying to ruin your summer for their profit.

So next time you hear President Obama or Al Gore try to blame humans for the weather, laugh a bit at anyone foolish enough to fall for their Ponzi scheme and take a ride in your 15 mpg truck with your windows down and your AC on.

Write to Eli at ejt26@pitt.edu