Lesser-known lessons from a year away

When I moved to Pitt freshman year, my parents literally ditched me on a street corner.

Thinking back on that day, I hardly recognize the mildly terrified girl hugging both her parents and her brother outside of The Original Hot Dog Shop. I would never have thought I’d belong in a sorority, of all things, but now I’m an officer and have sisters and connections all over the country. I would have never imagined having the audacity to share my poems at a poetry slam, but last semester I emceed two.

Pitt seemed so big then, and it still feels big now, but it’s not in the same intimidating way. I have found room to grow here, room to explore.

I’ve learned a lot of the usual things — like don’t take an 8 a.m. biology course, and don’t think you can survive on a diet of Market Central fries alone — but there’s also so much that I’ve learned to dive into. I would hardly call myself an expert on college, but here are some things I wish I’d known coming into my freshman year.

Your Roommate — Just a Person You Share a Room With:

If you’re lucky enough to get stuck living with a complete stranger for the year, make an effort to get to know them. If they don’t make an effort back, don’t immediately write them off. Just count on making other friends. Even if you’re not instant BFF-roomies, there’s a lot you can do to make living together manageable. Do your laundry as often as you need to, and try to coordinate a lights-out time that works for you both. Compromising is important, but you need to make sure that you still have enough of what you originally wanted when all is said and done.

New Friends — Painters on the Fresh Canvas You’ve Become:

College is a fresh slate, and you should take it as an opportunity to explore your interests — some of which were previously unknown.

I dragged my friends to an open mic night to watch me read poetry that I had never shared with anyone.

I also learned to stop fearing networking — that large, uncomfortable adult word that feels like marbles in your mouth. For me, it translated to asking boys in a band if I could write an article about them. But for you, it could mean not being afraid to show up to office hours and chat with your professor about their summer research plans.

Sometimes, you just have to do things that will make for a great story. And you must ask yourself, “What’s stopping me from doing XYZ?” — unless it’s death, serious injury or getting arrested, do it.

Relationships:

I’ve learned that some people are only happy when they are miserable, and that you should not want to be with that person. There are so many amazing, cheerful and ambitious people surrounding you, and there’s no reason to waste your time with people who do not fill you with the same joy.

I’ve also learned that it’s OK to not want to kiss people in dark basements — and it’s also OK to want to. But, it’s also OK to want to be single. You are in college, and you have the rest of your life to be committed, so don’t stress about meeting the love of your life during Orientation Week.

On Going Out:

I’ve learned that when you go to a party, you need to have a reliable buddy. For the love of everything that is holy, make sure you charge your phone before you go out — even if you think you know the street you’re on, it all looks the same in the dark. Google Maps could very well be the only light you see.

College — Still About Schoolwork:

I’ve learned that talking all night at the library does not mean studying. I realized that there were some people that I just couldn’t invite to study — which is fine because there are so many other things I could invite them to do.

I’ve learned that college is much harder than high school, and in ways you would never imagine. I can’t make excuses for the class I failed, but I can be proud of the amazing grades I got in the others. I learned that I have no clue what I want to do with my life — and that that’s OK.

You can find opportunities in the strangest of places — for me, it came in the form of a job offer in the midst of a dirty house party after a long conversation about politics and music.

Home — That Place You Left:

Call your dad, text your little brother good night and never underestimate the value of friends from high school.

Those lingering bonds from home meant so much more when I realized that a lot of people were no longer my friends once I no longer sat beside them in math class. It’s kind of strange seeing pictures of them going out with their new friends, but I loved going out with new friends — so it works out pretty well.

Don’t be afraid to go home for a weekend. You won’t miss that much at school, and it will mean the world to your grandmother. Don’t forget how old she’s getting, and don’t forget to tell her you love her.

It’s okay if home doesn’t feel like home anymore, and I promise you that it will never not be strange to have to pack a bag to stay in your childhood bedroom.

I’ve learned a lot from my freshman year, but I know that you’re not going to have the same experience that I did. You’re going to grow and change and become an adult — whatever that’s supposed to be. You will have an entirely different experience than everyone else in your freshman seminar.

That is the beauty of college — you have just enough room to develop personally, and plenty of shoulders to lean on.

Write to Rebecca at rlt49@pitt.edu