Dating apps abroad: Your guide to local culture

“The Hot Tea” is a weekly column dedicated to unearthing the intricacies of London’s social, political and millennial issues in the context of Pittsburgh’s own complex culture.

LONDON- “Do you fancy a good chin wag and some drinks later?” a random rosy-cheeked Briton asked me at Brewdog, a local hipster-esque IPA bar and brewery in Shepherd’s Bush.

“What in God’s name is a chin wag?” I thought. Trying to mask my utter confusion at English slang — a typical Yank problem — I feigned full knowledge of the word and scoffed at his proposal.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m not going to chin wag someone I just met.”

The guy looked at me like I was some sort of nun, or maybe like I had something on my face.

Turns out, “chin wag” doesn’t mean making out. It just means having a chat.

As the poor guy left his seat and walked away from me, I realized I needed some serious help in the assimilating-to-English-culture department.

My saving grace? Hold your gasps — it’s dating apps.

If you’re seeking out romance while abroad and using dating apps to do so, I applaud you. But dating apps like Tinder and OkCupid aren’t just forums for millennial hook-up culture — they’re vehicles for uncovering parts of new cultures we may otherwise have never gotten a chance to discover. Whether the apps help you decipher local lingo, discover the best spots to go out on the weekend or give you insight to the best, tourist-free hidden treasures in town, dating apps are the logical answer.

For that reason, I suggest that all young people indulge in online dating apps while traveling or even just switching to a new university town. Dating apps, those stereotypically shallow pits of disappointment, can actually benefit you.

When it comes to deciphering lingo, it’s usually not short quips like “lad,” “mate,” “anti-clockwise” or “cheeky” that will leave you stupefied. It’s the full-on sayings that will leave you drooling like a fool. The worst? When an English person approached me the first time to say, “You all right?” Immediately, I become self-conscious. Is there mayonnaise on my face? Did I draw one eyebrow on and forget the other? Do I look sick?

I went on Tinder that night for investigative purposes, of course. I made sure my profile depicted my status as a clueless American. I also included what I was studying here and where I was interning. Surprisingly, more guys began conversations by questioning me about my internship at The Independent or life in North America than by dropping horrible pickup lines.

Cue opportunity to ask about lingo — most guys would message me things like, “You all right? xxx,” to start the conversation. Turns out, “You all right?” is the ever-baffling way the English say hello. And, “xxx,” did not imply kisses, but was a term of endearment that the Britons consider a less cheesy way to imbed a smiley face into their written communications. 

As George Bernard Shaw — an Irish dramatist and socialist — once said, “England and America are two countries separated by a common language.” This couldn’t be more true, but with the help of Tinder, I had the opportunity to ask people what certain words and phrases meant without having to uncomfortably ask in person.

This same rhetoric applies for U.S. students switching to a new school in a different state or even just a different city. In Pittsburgh, home of the the worst local dialect according to Gawker’s 2014 ugliest accent contest, jargon like “gumband,” “nebby,” “jagoff” and “pop” can baffle the out-of-towner. Through connecting with people on apps like Tinder or OkCupid, you can use the slight differences in your lingo as either a conversation starter or a way to learn about your new home.

These apps aren’t just great for learning how to decode a seemingly foreign language, though. The most useful way to utilize Tinder and OkCupid is for finding the places off the tourists’ radar. While the London Eye, Big Ben and Buckingham Palace are dazzling, after seeing them so many times, it gets to be a bit of a yawn  — I apologize for the humble brag. Similarly, the Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Cathedral of Learning and Primanti’s start to lose their luster after a few weeks at Pitt.

To find the hole-in-the-walls that will rekindle the love of your new city, make friends with locals on dating apps. By talking to people online, I discovered my favorite pub — and local source of embarrasment — in London, Brewdog, which actually brews all of its own IPAs. Similarly, I found out that Camden Lock Market is a more diverse shopping experience than hitting the tourist central of Oxford Circus. In Pittsburgh, let the locals tell you about Iron City beer, the Mattress Factory and Midnight Floyd shows at the Carnegie Science Center.

Of course there’s always going to be online trolls who drop inappropriate lines to your inbox, but for every dimwit on a dating app, there’s an equally kind local who would genuinely love to help you get acquainted with the culture of your new city, whether in Europe or North America.

So the next time someone tells me my attempt at a British accent is “a total cock up,” I’ll know that they aren’t referring to a DVD better kept under the mattress — they’re just telling me I did a horrible job. And isn’t that the English way, after all?

Courtney Linder is a senior columnist at The Pitt News, primarily focusing on social issues and technology. Write to her at CNL13@pitt.edu.