Editorial: Casual Fridays

Six feet deep like

Moscow authorities are giving people an exclusive opportunity to take a Snapchat selfie with a ghost. Starting next year, free Wi-Fi will be available in the city’s three main cemeteries — a major plot twist in the city’s planning. If death stresses you out, you can unwind with Wi-Fi at specially-designated relaxing spots — but don’t get too comfortable. The city is still working out a few issues with dead zones.

Paranoid pothead

On Thursday, a Florida man sent out smoke signals to police investigating a suspicious death in the neighborhood. After hearing the sirens, Jasper Harrison had high — but false — expectations that police were on the verge of uncovering the marijuana he was growing in his storage unit. He called the dispatcher and bluntly told operators that he was the man they were looking for. Police arrived at his storage unit to find him rolling in his mistakes, 150 grams of cultivated marijuana and nine plants. Harrison is going to have to deal with his growing pains in jail.

Fluffy hates Fedex

Due to a claws in the security contract, a London post office inflicted a cat-astrophic fate on a feline when it withheld an advent calendar of cat treats. The purrfect package was addressed to Ted, Brittany Maher-Kirk’s cat. But because Ted didn’t have an ID at the meowment, the post office wasn’t kitten when it told Maher-Kirk that she couldn’t have the package. Maher-Kirk was able to pop into the depot and put a paws on Ted’s pain once she explained the situation. Ted isn’t forgetting his snail mail experience, however, and is no longer feline the love for the mailman.

No soup for you

Jonathan Ray is hoping his mother stops stewing while he cools off in jail for stealing her New Mexican stew. Ray and his mother got into a family food when his mom put a lid on his soupy desires and told him he couldn’t have any of her stew. Ray dismissed her command, swiping the soup off the back porch anyway. His mom didn’t believe that contentment was a dish best stolen, and called the cops to report the scalding hot crime. There hasn’t been any word on what Ray found so enticing about the mystery meat.

Slice of the pie

Manchester Metropolitan University is giving students a chance to snag a piece of the restaurant business. The university recently teamed up with Pizza Hut to offer a course on bringing in the dough — and making it. In the course, students will learn the art of pizza making, pizza eating and pizza money making. Students might have to know how to compute pi to chart the circumference of their growing pockets — and bellies. The course isn’t as easy as it looks, though, and only the upper crust of the class will pass.