Darth Vader could be the NFL’s next Rob Gronkowski

In a universe of planets covered with lava, multilingual robots and telekinetic powers, there is one front where the Star Wars films leaves us wanting: athletics.

Numerous characters from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away were lightyears from other callings and missed many opportunities to be modern-day sports stars. Here is a sampling of some of their potential professions.

DARTH VADER: NFL Tight End

The big baddie of the Galactic Empire has the prototypical build of an NFL tight end. With his exceptional height and lengthy arms, Vader fits the mold of a perfect red zone target. He wouldn’t be the fastest tight end in the league — his robotic legs have never shown the capacity for great straight-line sprints — but he would easily make up for that with his mechanical strength. No linebacker or defensive back would be able to stop him at the line of scrimmage. We’ve also seen tight ends with robotic-looking contraptions thrive in the NFL — see the Patriots’ All-Pro Rob Gronkowski.

YODA: Horse Racing Jockey

Yoda’s size lends itself very well to horse racing — the miniscule green creature’s weight would hardly register on his steed’s back. He’s also been a human jockey before, riding on the back of his trainee Luke Skywalker through the wet and muddy terrain of Dagobah. Yoda sports the intellect and strategic mind necessary to win races. He is patient and well aware that the first quarter of the race is by no means the most important. With his mindfulness and unity with the force, he’ll indubitably form a symbiotic relationship with his horse.

BOBA FETT: NBA Small Forward

Granted, this idea is somewhat reliant on something that the NBA would never permit: Boba’s jetpack. But we never really see Boba without it, so I think the NBA could make an exception for the bounty hunter. With the jetpack, Fett would be an unstoppable slashing force — no player in the league could stop his penetration into the paint. Even without it, Fett is a ruthless mercenary. He would be tenacious on defense and tough. The only thing that has ever sidelined him was a Sarlacc.

HAN SOLO: NASCAR Driver

Back in his day, Han Solo was known as the best pilot in the galaxy. If he was able to pilot the much more complex and clunky Millennium Falcon, a stock car would be an easy transition for the smooth-talking scoundrel. Solo is a risk-taker, but based on the skills he displayed navigating through an asteroid field while pusued by TIE fighters, he would likely be able to avoid the pitfalls of dangerous collisions, leaving the other drivers in his dust.

JABBA THE HUTT: NHL Goalie

I’ve always wondered why hockey teams don’t sign people who are larger than the net to play goaltender, as this makes it essentially impossible for a player to score. With his slimy and tremendous girth, Jabba would provide an impenetrable wall against potential goal scorers, who would break their sticks in frustration after their 10th slap shot plops in front of Jabba’s belly. Also, without any legs, Jabba would be a great skater — his worm-like shape would glide across the ice.

CHEWBACCA: MLB Reliever

The top MLB relief pitchers in the game rely on power and intimidation. Han Solo’s Wookiee sidekick Chewbacca would more than strike fear into the minds of opposing batters ­— his furry body and fearsome battle cry would give him a more ferocious presence on the mound than even Brian Wilson or Craig Kimbrel could match. He definitely has the precision necessary to pepper the strike zone — his crossbow skills prove his hand-eye coordination is elite. And with his 7-foot-5-inch frame, he’ll also be able to provide the velocity a late-inning pitcher needs.