Editorial: Casual Fridays

Hot potato

An Irish photographer famous for taking portraits of celebrities like Yoko Ono and Malala Yousafzai just hit pay dirt. Kevin Abosch reportedly made bank off a picture of a mud-covered potato to a European businessman, who agreed that the spud looked too good to eat. It looked so good, in fact, that the unnamed buyer paid Abosch $1.08 million for the print. The picture itself fits Abosch’s signature style, which generally includes his subjects’ faces sitting in starch contrast to a solid black background. “I see commonalities between humans and potatoes that speak to our relationship as individuals within a collective species,” Abosch told CNN. Abosch has not confirmed whether the high price tag of “Potato #345” will sprout a new series, or lead to “French Fry #346.” Hopefully he doesn’t throw all that money down the tuber.

Another culture’s vulture

An Israeli vulture’s flight of fancy came to an abrupt end on Wednesday. Researchers tracking the vulture from Gamla Nature Reserve in the Golan Heights region of Israel lost track of the raptor when Lebanese villagers captured it, suspecting that it was serving as a spy. The vulture was outfitted with identifying tags and a tracker attached to its tail — which locals mistook for spying equipment — when it crossed the Lebanese border into Bint Jbeil. This is actually not the first time that an animal has been suspected of working for the Israeli government. In 2010, Egypt accused Israel of coordinating shark attacks to damage its tourism industry. Since the incident, the vulture has not appeared on the researchers’ radar, which has ruffled some feathers in Israel. When contacted for comment, a California condor assured The Pitt News that it stands in solidarity.

“High, officer”

After being involved in a car accident, a teenager from Spokane, Washington, was asked for his license, registration and insurance information. Spokane Police officer Seth Killian hit the teen’s vehicle after driving through a red light without his emergency lights on, only to discover that his victim smelled like marijuana and had red, glassy eyes. Police, immediately recognizing the true offender, subsequently arrested and charged the 16-year-old with a DUI. Officials have not confirmed whether Officer Killian was slamming into random vehicles as part of a new program to reduce impaired driving.

Straight flushed

The family and friends of a recently deceased Puerto Rican man clearly appreciate lively competition. After 31-year-old Henry Martinez died last Tuesday, his body was embalmed and seated at a table, where his corpse participated in a game of poker. The event was in place of a regular wake, and guests happily posed for pictures with their late loved one. By all reports, Martinez maintained an unrelenting poker face and displayed a stiff upper lip all night.

A crime most foul

While trying to siphon gas from a parked tour bus, an Australian gang wound up with a mouthful of trouble. The would-be thieves mistook the bus’ sewage tank for its fuel cap, which immediately served them with righteous retripooption. No fuel was missing from the bus when the tank’s cap was found lying on the ground, indicating that the criminals fled upon realizing their mistake. Authorities told the press that they have “absolutely zero interest” in returning the stoolen sewage to its rightful owner.