Under the Covers: Turning off bisexual erasure

Here’s a riddle: What’s always horny, can’t be tamed and doesn’t exist?

If you guessed society’s skewed impression of bisexual people, you’re right! If you guessed unicorn, you’re also right. But this is a sex column, and I’m not delving into the topic of bestiality just yet.

Only in recent years has the media — and consequently, society — finally begun to recognize bisexuality as a real and valid sexual orientation. While this recognition may seem insignificant to some, it’s crucial to those who identify as bisexual. Too many people still believe that bisexuality doesn’t exist or think bisexuality means not being able to pick which people you like most.

Television networks, most notably The CW and ABC,  now highlight bisexuality on their programs, and more media outlets need to follow suit to combat the prevalent diminishing of bisexuals. Increased and accurated media representation will make bisexuality an accepted identity — not a marginalized myth.

Currently, The CW has at least two openly bisexual characters. Clarke Griffin, the protagonist of the post-apocalyptic hit-series “The 100,” was confirmed as bisexual by the show’s creator Jason Rothenberg in February via Twitter. Thankfully, Clarke’s sexuality has made it past the Twitterverse, and she’s appeared in satisfying romantic and sexual relationships with more than one gender. On “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” Darryl Whitefeather, a middle-aged, mustachioed single dad, recently came out with the help of an ’80s-inspired jam entitled “Gettin’ Bi.”

On the legacy network side, Shonda Rhimes, writer and producer of ABC’s entire Thursday night lineup, is no stranger to creating realistic and varied characters. Rhimes, who made Time magazine’s 100 People Who Help Shape the World in 2007 and has received two Emmy nominations, is known for creating casts full of different genders, races and sexual orientations.

Most recently, Rhimes provides realistic and complex bisexual representation through Annalise Keating of “How to Get Away with Murder” and Callie Torres of “Grey’s Anatomy.” In fact, as Callie’s bisexual storyline began to emerge, Rhimes and her co-executive producers met with the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation to make sure they were avoiding stereotypes and staying true to the character and her budding bisexuality. It’s exactly this kind of foresight and dedication that leads to the three-dimensional and authentic characters Rhimes so readily and abundantly supplies to viewers.

But Rhimes doesn’t necessarily view her characters as something extraordinary. While receiving an award from the Human Rights Campaign last May, Rhimes spoke about why the “diversity” in her writing should be less notable than it is.

“I really hate the word diversity. It suggests something … other. As if it is something special or rare. Diversity! As if there is something unusual about telling stories involving women and people of color and LGBTQ characters on TV,” Rhimes said. “I have a different word: normalizing. I’m normalizing TV. I am making TV look like the world looks. Women, people of color, LGBTQ people, equal way more than 50 percent of the population. Which means it ain’t out of the ordinary.”

That’s what is really so important about all of these characters — they normalize the idea of bisexuality in a world that does not acknowledge it. Often, the struggle for bisexual people isn’t others’ acceptance of their sexuality — it’s the fact that people don’t even believe that being bi qualifies as a sexuality at all.

A 2013 study by Pitt’s Graduate School of Public Health found that 15 percent of respondents felt that bisexuality was not a “legitimate” sexual orientation.

Most people aren’t saying, “I don’t accept you for being bisexual,” because they never get past saying, “It’s just a phase,” or “You’re just experimenting,” or “You’ll pick a side eventually.”

A good friend asked me just a few months ago if I thought bisexual people actually existed. While I sat there and stared at her in silence for a few moments, wondering how that possibly came out of her mouth, all I could think of was “Grey’s Anatomy.”

Callie’s spot-on line rang through my head: “It’s real. It’s called LGBTQ for a reason. There’s a ‘B’ in there, and it doesn’t mean bada**. OK … it kind of does, but it also means bi!”

Aside from sticking up for themselves and their community, characters like Callie are breaking down many of the negative stereotypes surrounding bisexuality, such as hypersexuality, indecision and unfaithfulness.

Callie’s ex-husband and ex-wife both cheat on her, not the other way around. The only hypersexual thing about Darryl from “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” is his pornstache. On “The 100,” Clarke’s primary activity is making tough decisions. Granted, most of the time she’s deciding to wipe out entire civilizations with the pull of a lever, but we’ll let that slide.

Meanwhile, characters such as Piper Chapman from “Orange is the New Black” only depict these stereoypes that plague bi people. She consistently cheats on her male fiance and her toxic relationship with other women is full of lying. The show never even dares to use the word “bisexual.”

Realistic portrayals of bisexuality will help society come to recognize and accept it as a real and normal sexual identity. And people so desperately need to understand that it’s a valid sexuality — that you’re not automatically a lesbian if you’re a female in a relationship with another female or gay if you’re a man dating a man. And that no, just because you’re attracted to more than one gender doesn’t mean you’re twice as likely to cheat.

People need to be exposed to bisexuality — but who wants to come out to a society that can’t even agree that they exist? The media should use its platform to normalize bisexuality so that those who identify as bisexual feel more comfortable coming out and putting a name to their feelings if they want. Quality entertainment reflects the lives people lead — sexuality included.

The recent increase in media attention is a step in the right direction, but there’s still a long way to go until we reach full recognition and acceptance of bisexuality.

Sex with unicorns is a whole other story.

Write to Bridget at bpm36@pitt.edu.