The Beer Nerd’s guide to beer-drinking etiquette

The proliferation of craft brewing in America has given rise to a new species of hobbyist: the beer nerd. 

I happily count myself among these ranks, but the journey to proper nerd was fraught with peril of both the social and physical variety. Fortunately for all of you burgeoning beer nerds out there, following these three pieces of advice will help you transition nicely into your new passion, relatively free of embarrassment — or black eyes. 

The first and foremost rule of beer nerd etiquette is this: A party is no place for snobbery. Sure, Bud, Miller and Coors taste like sewer water. You know it. I know it. We all know it. That, however, does not mean that it is honorable to turn one down at a party. Note that a BYO party is a completely separate animal — one that, by its very nature, allows you to sip on whatever you please. But a party where the host has gone out of his or her way to provide their guests with beer is no place for your newfound pride in your palate to rear its ugly head.

I can remember being at a Halloween party — recently enough for me to have known better — where I committed just such an offense. Rather than graciously accepting the host’s offering, I stuck to drinking Dogfish Head 60 minute IPA from the bottle, a beer sin in and of itself. When the host kindly said that I could help myself to the available selection at the house, I scoffed, expounding Dogfish Head’s virtues and talking high-mindedly about how light beer was ruining the world (which, to be fair, it is). 

Justifiably, this made me a very unpopular party guest and one who did not stick around for very long. So when confronted with the same situation, don’t do as I did. Take the free beer and smile. Don’t be a jerk.

The second rule of beer etiquette is that, unless you’re going out to a bar specifically for its great beer selection, don’t spend your night whining about what you’re drinking. When going to a bar with friends, it’s a worthwhile exercise to consider the kind of bar you’d like to visit. A dance bar, for example will likely have a rather weak beer selection as compared to a sports bar. Make sure to appropriately adjust your expectations of the bar’s beer varieties — it will save you much pain and embarrassment. 

Do not, under any circumstances, berate the bartender for an establishment’s poor selection. For one, the bartender probably had about as much to do with choosing the beer selection as you did, so it’s not their fault the bar doesn’t carry Le Fin du Monde on tap. 

More importantly, arguing with a bartender is a surefire way to be “asked to leave,” which I promise is even less fun than it sounds. Chances are that your local watering hole will have Yuengling bottles or a seasonal Sam Adams draft, both of which are perfectly good. Again, don’t make my mistakes and learn when it is and is not advisable to complain. Keep your powder dry for when someone tells you that the new Miller Fortune is better than Fat Head’s Head Hunter. 

Finally, don’t rush into being a hop head just to show off to your beer nerd friends — let your love of hops grow naturally. Liking anything that is inherently unlikable takes time. Hops are bitter and spicy, packing flavors that are entirely new, and can be off-putting to a new beer drinker. Just because someone at your local bar (who might have been me) told you how great Sierra Nevada Torpedo double IPA is does not mean that you should go out and buy a case of it. If you’re starting to explore the Sam Adams varieties, which is an excellent place to start, please don’t feel pressure to raise your hop game in order to impress someone else. 

As you may have guessed at this point, I’ve also made this mistake. I had seen Dogfish Head advertised around my hometown, and people who knew a bit about beer seemed to think it was good. So when I got my case of 60 Minute, having no idea what an IPA was, I was in for an unpleasant surprise. Where I should have been concentrating on developing my palate, I was concerned with looking like an expert, an endeavor that will always end in ruin.

Beers such as Magic Hat No. 9, Sam Adams Double agent IPL or, if you absolutely need to look cool, Stone Pale Ale are all great places to start. Each is light on hops but gives you enough to begin noticing their subtleties. Rushing into IPAs and pale ales will only ruin the experience for you. Do yourself a favor and take it slow. 

There is a difference between an enthusiast and a snob. An enthusiast is content in their obsession, seeing research and the acquisition of knowledge as a reward in itself. A snob, however, needs to let the whole world see just how smart they are, often revealing the opposite in the process. No matter the context — music, beer, movies or otherwise — no one likes a snob. 

So as you become a beer nerd and explore the depths of the proverbial ocean of great beers out there, remember this bit of wisdom from Abraham Lincoln: “Whatever you are, be a good one.” 

Write to Jackson at jyc4@pitt.edu.