Editorials

Top 10 last-minute Halloween costumes

Our weekly Top Ten is brought to you by the writers of Pitt Tonight and The Pitt News Editorial Board.

  1. Ken Bone

All you have to do is buy a red sweater and some glasses — but to really sell it, make sure everyone finds your creepy Reddit posts two weeks from now.

  1. The Verizon guy that switched to Sprint

This costume should be pretty simple, but most of the work is in the performance. Start practicing your “Can you hear me now?” pitch, and then work on perfecting that traitorous gleam in your eye.

  1. Hillary Clinton’s emails

Mark a capital “C” on your clothing and then, just when the party gets good, disappear into the dark shadows of the night. Gone forever.

  1. A never-nude

Rip off the top layer of your clothes unexpectedly and, just as someone is preparing to dial 911, you’ll catch the whole crew off guard by revealing a nice pair of denim cutoffs.

  1. Daniel Day-Lewis

You could go as any one of his characters, or you could pay Daniel Day-Lewis to portray you at the Halloween party.

  1. The back half of a horse costume

Your costume will offer an element of mystery, and it’ll make it look like you’ve got a really good friend hanging around somewhere. Nothing’s spookier than the unknown!

  1. My dad

Like every father-of-the-party, talk about how great Halloween is, and then leave to get more napkins and don’t come back for 15 years.

  1. The ghost of South O

Don’t even wash your bed sheet for this one. Cut some holes in the front, hold a PBR in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other, and you’re set.

  1. The hole between Qdoba and Bruegger’s

The gaping space where emergency crews drilled out a student caught for four hours earlier this year is gone now, but you can keep its spirit alive.

  1. Your bank account

Clearly the most terrifying costume on this list.

opinionsdesk

Share
Published by
opinionsdesk

Recent Posts

Trump wins second term, Republicans win big in Pennsylvania on Election Day

Donald Trump will become the 47th president of the United States after earning the necessary…

15 mins ago

Opinion | How did this happen?

Thomas and I spent most of the election night texting back and forth. We both…

7 hours ago

Opinion | Intimacy is not reserved for romantic relationships

Chances are, during college, you’re going to crash out over nothing and live in a…

7 hours ago

Sam Clancy: A guarantee on Pittsburgh’s Mount Rushmore

Pittsburgh is home to some of the most important figures in sports history –– so…

8 hours ago

‘I’ll get through these next four years’: Pitt students divided over Trump’s victory, with mixed emotions on campus

As the news echoes across campus, Pitt students are grappling with mixed emotions about the…

8 hours ago

Faculty Assembly discusses antisemitic violence on campus, announces antisemitic ad-hoc committee 

On Wednesday, Nov. 6., Faculty Assembly reflected on the 2024 presidential election, addressed recent acts…

8 hours ago