Our weekly Top Ten is brought to you by the writers of Pitt Tonight and The Pitt News Editorial Board.
- Ken Bone
All you have to do is buy a red sweater and some glasses — but to really sell it, make sure everyone finds your creepy Reddit posts two weeks from now.
- The Verizon guy that switched to Sprint
This costume should be pretty simple, but most of the work is in the performance. Start practicing your “Can you hear me now?” pitch, and then work on perfecting that traitorous gleam in your eye.
- Hillary Clinton’s emails
Mark a capital “C” on your clothing and then, just when the party gets good, disappear into the dark shadows of the night. Gone forever.
- A never-nude
Rip off the top layer of your clothes unexpectedly and, just as someone is preparing to dial 911, you’ll catch the whole crew off guard by revealing a nice pair of denim cutoffs.
- Daniel Day-Lewis
You could go as any one of his characters, or you could pay Daniel Day-Lewis to portray you at the Halloween party.
- The back half of a horse costume
Your costume will offer an element of mystery, and it’ll make it look like you’ve got a really good friend hanging around somewhere. Nothing’s spookier than the unknown!
- My dad
Like every father-of-the-party, talk about how great Halloween is, and then leave to get more napkins and don’t come back for 15 years.
- The ghost of South O
Don’t even wash your bed sheet for this one. Cut some holes in the front, hold a PBR in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other, and you’re set.
- The hole between Qdoba and Bruegger’s
The gaping space where emergency crews drilled out a student caught for four hours earlier this year is gone now, but you can keep its spirit alive.
- Your bank account
Clearly the most terrifying costume on this list.