Editorial: Casual Fridays 9/28

Cause of the bacon shortage

A casino in Minnesota has cooked a…Cause of the bacon shortage

A casino in Minnesota has cooked a record-breaking bacon cheeseburger that weighs more than a ton. The cheeseburger contained 60 pounds of bacon, 50 pounds of lettuce and 40 pounds of cheese, and the cooks had to use a crane to flip the burger while cooking it. The burger will soon be on many fast food chains’ $1,000 menus.

Garfield’s cousin

In Dallas, a ginger tabby cat named Skinny is reported to weigh 41 pounds. The cat lives in a shelter and is up for adoption. One of the shelter workers says Skinny appears healthy, other than potentially having diabetes. Although the cat’s caretakers don’t know why she’s so fat, we suspect that it might be because of eating too much lasagna.

Not offered on Pitt’s meal plan

According to an article in The Sun, a new cosmetic surgery trend in Japan had one customer saying, “Oh sweet buttery bagels, I look delicious!” The trend, called the bagel-head procedure, involves injecting saline into peoples’ foreheads to create a swollen, bagel-shaped impression. The “bagel” lasts about 16 hours before the body naturally absorbs the saline. We’re hoping that this trend will expand to forehead donuts and forehead pie.

A graveyard smash

In a small town near Boulder, Colo., an annual “Frozen Dead Guy” festival is going strong, despite the possible removal of the festival’s namesake. The town has been host to the cryogenically-frozen corpse of Bredo Morstoel for 20 years, and the town has made the best of the situation by holding a festival every year that features a hearse parade, a frozen salmon toss, coffin races and snow volleyball. Despite the fact that the corpse might be moved to the Cryonics Institute in Michigan, the town’s ghastly festivities carry on. We think that the addition of a zombie walk might be appropriate for this festival.

Indecent exposure

In Bosnia, a man was banned from running in local elections because his campaign website featured pornographic imagery. He is fighting to have his candidacy status reinstated so that he can make his town like Hollywood, according to an article from Reuters. It seems that his porn stunt was designed to arouse some interest in his campaign.