Opinion | How to prank your friends with Brad Pitt’s face

Have you ever wanted to pull off the perfect April Fools’ Day prank without resorting to extremes to carry out your shenanigans? This year, prank your friends while honoring one of America’s greatest figures: Brad Pitt. He’s the perfect vehicle to create enjoyable, lighthearted pranks without lots of work or materials. Here are seven places you can put Brad Pitt to have a (B)rad Pitt April Fools’ Day.

1. Inside the mini fridge, right underneath your almond milk

Is your roommate always taking your milk? Do they find a dry bowl of cereal insufferable and see your milk as the only solution to this problem, ignoring the possibility of, say, buying their own milk? If this is your problem, fear not — Brad Pitt has the answer. Take a small picture of Brad Pitt and tape it inside the refrigerator, right where the milk goes. The next time they remove the milk, they’ll receive the judgment of America’s favorite Hollywood actor.

1. Underneath all the grilled cheeses at Market

Ah, grilled cheese day, every Market visitor’s favorite day. The only way to improve this day, of course, is to add Brad Pitt to it. For this prank, you will need to be very sneaky. Take a large printout of Brad Pitt and gently slide it underneath all the grilled cheeses on the platter. Take a minute to revel in the crispy cheese scent of the Market grilled cheese before snapping out of it and focusing on the mission at hand. Next, make sure the Brad Pitt face is under as many grilled cheese sandwiches as possible. Now, when students grab a grilled cheese, they will reveal a piece of his face until all the grilled cheeses are gone, but all the Brad Pitt is visible.

1. Background for the desktops in Hillman

Nothing is more inspiring to the student stuck writing a 15-page paper in the library than coffee, the promise of a nap to come and America’s sweetheart, Brad Pitt. You can provide one of these beautiful things to your fellow students in a few easy steps. First, log onto a desktop computer in Hillman. Then, google “Brad Pitt photo.” Next, abandon the computer with the search results for Brad Pitt open. Do this for every computer in Hillman. Now, when a student goes to use a computer, they will be greeted with many pictures of Brad Pitt, the greatest studying motivator to ever live. At least for the next 15 minutes, anyway.

1. A small picture underneath a very big picture

For this Pitt prank, you’ll want to find a roommate who has a tapestry hanging on one of their walls. Remove the tapestry and throw it under their bed or something — just get it out of sight. Then, apply small pictures of Brad Pitt in its place. We’re not done just yet. Now, take much larger pictures of Brad Pitt and tape them on top of the smaller pictures. Each time your roommate tries to remove a large Brad Pitt, they’ll be met with many smaller Brad Pitts. It’s the prank that keeps on giving.

1. Five squares deep on the toilet paper

Now I know what you’re thinking. There’s no possible way to make the experience of finding one of the four working toilets that also have toilet paper more enjoyable. Well, I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Anything can be made more enjoyable with the addition of Brad Pitt. For this prank, you’ll need many small pictures of Brad Pitt, some tape and the ability to reroll toilet paper. First, unravel the toilet paper in the stall. Then, tape the very small pictures of Brad Pitt to the toilet paper, about one Brad Pitt per square. Next, roll the toilet paper back up. Continue to do this to every toilet paper you can find. Today we don’t enjoy single-ply TP, we enjoy single-ply BPTP, as in Brad Pitt Toilet Paper.

1. The water fountains

With all the looming stress of finals and all the terror-inducing announcements coming from the White House, it’s important for the modern student to stay hydrated and alert. That’s why this next Brad Pitt prank will be such a hit. Print out a small picture of Brad Pitt and tape it to the water fountain. Put him on every water fountain you see. Whenever a fellow student goes in to get a drink or fill a water bottle, they’ll be met with the tall glass of water that is Brad Pitt.

1. Inside every thought your friend conceives … forever

This one is really more of a long-game Brad Pitt prank. For this activity, you want to single out one friend over the course of a few months. Now, in every conversation you have with them, talk about Brad Pitt. Show them pictures of Brad Pitt. Describe how you imagine Brad Pitt smells. Every time you’re in their room, leave behind one picture of Brad Pitt in an inconspicuous place, such as inside a picture frame or inside their sock drawer. Continue these shenanigans for a few months and before you know it, they’ll be mirroring your behaviors. They’ll become obsessed with Brad Pitt. He will consume their every waking thought. He will consume their subconscious thoughts. He will be all that your friend can see as they gently float ever downward, much like a feather in a breeze, until they finally reach true madness.