The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

A recently fired therapy dog who said his life is now “without purpose.” He wishes to remain anonymous.

April Fools Edition | Oakland Critters replace therapy dogs in mass firing

By Colm Slevin, Senior Staff Writer March 31, 2022
Pitt fired all the dogs in the Therapy Dog Tuesday program on Friday. Faced with budget issues, Pitt made the decision to replace the trained therapy dogs with stray animals from South Oakland.
Satire | America’s the greatest country — SIKE

Satire | America’s the greatest country — SIKE

By Grace DeLallo, Assistant Opinions Editor March 31, 2022
America is the best country ever... or is it?
Penn State’s Nittany Lion mascot.

April Fools Edition | Top eight reasons why Penn State is better than Pitt

By The Pitt News Editorial Board March 31, 2022
Penn State is obviously better than Pitt — and we aren’t just writing this for April Fool’s Day.
Taking a walk around your neighborhood is a good break when sitting at a desk or staying in bed all day.

April Fools Edition | Local mother takes walks to escape children

By Mary Rose O'Donnell, Contributing Editor March 31, 2020
A local mother went on three neighborhood walks yesterday after her children got on her last nerves.
Alex’s yellow lab, Wrecks Goliath, lies in a mud puddle.

April Fools edition | What my dog recommends doing during quarantine

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist March 31, 2020
These are exciting times. There’s one riveting event after another these days, and I’m here to share some things you can do to have a life as exciting as dear, sweet Wrecks. 
Many of us have been wearing nothing but sweatpants for two weeks.

April Fools Edition | Pitt student puts on “real” clothes for the first time in weeks

By Ashton Crawley, Senior Staff Writer March 31, 2020
Pitt junior Joe Smith was running dangerously low on his quarantine snacks and knew it was time to venture outside.
“Moneyball” is one of the greatest sports movies ever made, according to sports editor Trent Leonard.

Top five Brad Pitt sports roles

By Trent Leonard, Sports Editor April 1, 2019
Whether flashing his sword skills or brazenly managing a baseball franchise, Pitt has carved out a respectable niche for himself in the fictional athletic industry.
William Bradley Pitt deserves to have a building named after him.

Editorial: The actual William Pitt the WPU should be named after

By The Pitt News Editorial Brad March 31, 2019
We can’t count the ways Brad Pitt has shaped this world, but we can count the reasons we can show Brad Pitt at least a fraction of the love he deserves.
Brad Pitt would make a rad Pitt prank.

Opinion | How to prank your friends with Brad Pitt’s face

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist March 31, 2019
Have you ever wanted to pull off the perfect April Fools’ Day prank without resorting to extremes to carry out your shenanigans? This year, prank your friends while honoring one of America’s greatest figures: Brad Pitt.
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