Opinion | Privacy in the public eye: Overly comfortable viewership and comments

The internet has blurred the lines between public and private information, leading to significant debates about what constitutes privacy. Many creators share their day-to-day activities and lifestyle, filming everything from makeup tutorials and food reviews to daily vlogs and shopping hauls of luxury goods. Being able to live vicariously through others’ successes, happiness and achievements is a privilege of social media, but when tragedy strikes in an online persona’s life, many are quick to criticize and abuse this privilege. Viewers feel so comfortable hiding behind a screen and commenting on influencers’ misfortunes and tragedies — they ask invasive questions, make unfounded speculations and spread gossip, failing those who put their private and personal lives online.

Recently, mom and lifestyle influencer Emilie Kiser returned to the internet after the loss of her son Trigg who passed earlier this year after drowning in the family’s pool. Within a few days of the accident, local sources in the Arizona region where the Kisers resided and national news outlets released story coverage. Rumors and speculations quickly circulated the internet about whether it was really Trigg who had been involved in this tragic accident, with longtime fans and unfamiliar viewers alike praying for the Kisers. Soon after, it was viewers who confirmed it was Emilie’s son. After the breaking news, Emilie vanished from social media.

Emilie shared many personal details about herself and her family’s life such as the birth of their second son Teddy and her daily routine, but this was not an event the public deserves access to. Emilie completely abandoned social media without a single comment, video or sign of life besides making a request to keep police files and details out of the public’s hands. It was like she disappeared all together. 

After the media confirmed Trigg’s death, the bulk of comments and response videos were positive, but for every supportive comment there was one speculating how he died in gruesome detail. In the following months, with Emilie absent from social media, small details were released by police and news outlets which quickly began circulating on the internet. People speculated on her emotions, probable return and even stalked her home.

After the initial shock wore off, viewers demanded to know every gritty detail. Instead of quiet  support, it seemed that everyone on the internet wanted to speak on the situations and the faults of both Emilie and her husband. As Emilie attempted to block police records from being released about the terrible death and accounts, it was announced her husband Brady placed a bet during the time of drowning. On TikTok, people commented, “Kiser cares more about protecting her own husband than she did her own child!” 

While the influencer was grieving a devastating loss, the internet, which was once her safe space and career, fueled speculations and criticized her. They hid behind screens drawing conclusions about divorce, legal prosecution and her never returning to social media. 

People across social media left comments like “Poor Trigg, he deserved better,” “She made incredibly poor choices,” “You should teach your child to swim,” “They killed their child,” and so many more that were unnecessary and written by those who did not know Emilie, her pain or the pressure to be perfect online for your millions of followers.

Emilie is not an average mother — she chose to share the life of her and her family on social media, setting her apart from an average Arizona mom, but that does not invite fans and spectators to comment on the tragedy. Since the horrific event back in May, Emilie has slowly come back to social media, posting her regular content along with sharing her grief journey. In continuation, viewers made the comments, “It is disgusting she’s back,” and, “It’s disgusting they aren’t in jail.”

Tragedy only looks preventable when you’re not the one going through it. Maybe a pool fence should have been installed and her husband could have been more aware, but at the end of the day there is no going back — only the opportunity to educate others and prevent this from happening to others. Emilie had previously blurred the lines between her public and private life, and the one time she shut down and mourned in private, viewers could not accept it. Many seemed to feel this circumstance was no different from a typical afternoon cleaning video or morning routine vlog and assumed they should comment on it in the same fashion. 

While the majority of comment sections were overrun by positive comments — with some even relating to Emilie’s tragic situation — those who felt the need to leave negative comments on Emilie, her parenting or how it could have all been prevented did not understand the boundaries social media influencers should be granted. 

Today, social media is a way of life for many, something that has contributed to viewers holding an unrealistic view of influencing. Many have come to the assumption that when an influencer posts content, they as viewers are automatically allowed — if not obligated — to make comments or draw conclusions.

Hiding behind a digital screen makes it easier to comment on someone else’s life that has nothing to do with you. The unfolding of Trigg’s death on social media is a tragic depiction of how the internet often feels obliged to stick their noses in a situation that has nothing to do with them. Although no comment or video can bring Emilie’s son back, it can offer a valuable lesson about where viewers should draw the line.

Sierra O’Neil is a junior marketing major who loves long walks, overpriced coffee and overanalyzing social media ads. A Pittsburgh native, she is always looking for different places to explore and companies to hire her as their new intern. Connect with Sierra by emailing her at sgo10@pitt.edu.