April Fools’: Tax on sunshine gives Port Authority light

(STD) Pittsburgh – In order to stem an expected $260 billion shortfall by the Port Authority… (STD) Pittsburgh – In order to stem an expected $260 billion shortfall by the Port Authority of Allegheny County this summer, Allegheny County Chief Executive Dan Onorato has come up with what he calls “a dependable source of revenue for this cash-strapped public corporation.”

Slated to begin June 1, Onorato’s controversial plan calls for a 10 percent tax on daylight in Allegheny County.

“It’s just common sense. The majority of people take advantage of the buses during daytime hours to get around this beautiful city, so my critics’ argument that this tax has no connection to the Port Authority is bogus,” Onorato said.

The Daylight Savings Union, one of Onorato’s staunchest opponents, has criticized the tax as a means of “destroying one of Ben Franklin’s most underrated inventions,” in a press release.

Seemingly even more upset are the citizens themselves, who have called this “the third best reason to leave Pittsburgh” in a readers’ poll by City Paper.

“No one will be able to afford daylight come summer,” said Charlene Bruener, of Polish Hill, citing the lengthened days in that season. “That’s when we need it most. The grass needs cut, the garage needs painted, and instead, I’ll have to move south of the equator to beat this jag-off tax.”