Kerry to Edwards: Two Johns make a right

He’s relatively young, relatively inexperienced, completely Southern and the Democratic… He’s relatively young, relatively inexperienced, completely Southern and the Democratic Party’s great, sprightly hope for winning the White House.

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, Mass., announced his vice presidential running mate, Sen. John Edwards, D–N.C., from Market Square in Downtown Pittsburgh yesterday, shocking no one — except perhaps the New York Post, which printed that Kerry tapped Rep. Dick Gephardt, D–Mo.

Edwards, whose public life consists of one term in the U.S. Senate and a highly successful career as a trial lawyer, will hopefully lend some verve to a race lacking both youth and energy. (The Bush-Kerry debates might as well be subtitled “Light as a feather, stiff as a board.”)

It doesn’t take much charisma to outshine Vice President Dick Cheney, whose less-than-perfect physical condition makes the expression “running for office” ironic, and Edwards has that in spades. What Edwards doesn’t have is experience, but President Bush logged only six years in public office — one and one-half terms as governor of Texas — before being elected president.

The vice presidency — an office not worth a bucket of warm spit, according to former Vice President John Nance Garner — has two constitutional duties, one of which is breaking ties in the Senate, which Edwards is equipped to do. The other duty is taking over should anything happen to the president — a grim prospect for either vice presidential candidate, as Cheney’s health is always a gamble, and Edwards just doesn’t have the time under his belt.

Except for that possibility, Edwards is Kerry’s ideal running mate. He’s young — 51, but looks and talks much younger — where Kerry is old, Southern where Kerry is a damn Yankee and fiery where Kerry is dour. The Democrats already have one experienced, levelheaded and moderate guy on the ticket; why be redundant?

Edwards will be a breath of fresh air from outside the Beltway, perhaps relating to voters in the South and the Rust Belt in ways that Kerry can’t. Kicking off their campaign in Pittsburgh reaffirms Kerry’s ties here, and presumably continues the trend of catering to the swing states, a tactic that’ll be essential to winning the presidency.

What’s more, having a vice presidential candidate who is actually exciting — unlike previous candidates, including the ever-hidden Cheney and the elfin Sen. Joe Lieberman, D-Conn., — will up the ante for the election. Set those TiVos to record the Cheney-Edwards debates. Between Edwards’s years as a trial lawyer and Cheney’s skill and recent tendency toward expletives, their debates will definitely be more exciting than the World Series of Poker.

Lastly, Edwards offers the option for a Democratic presidential candidate in four or eight years, whereas Bush-Cheney is a lame-duck ticket. Bush will be limited to two terms, and Cheney’s age and health won’t a good president make.

And all of that is, hopefully, worth more than a bucket of warm spit.