Check out that malfunctioning wardrobe

Short of hiding under a rock or going on a complete media fast, it’s been impossible to escape… Short of hiding under a rock or going on a complete media fast, it’s been impossible to escape news of Janet Jackson’s and Justin Timberlake’s Super Bowl halftime hi-jinks.

During the song, “Rock Your Body,” at the lyrical moment Timberlake sang, “I’m gonna have you naked by the end of this song,” Timberlake ripped off part of Jackson’s top – specifically, the part covering her right breast, complete with large, silver, sun-shaped nipple ornament. The action put her breast on display for the entire halftime audience to see. Granted, on television, it looked more like a pasty, fully covering her nipple, but still shots later confirmed that her nipple was quite visible.

It’s possible to believe that CBS and maybe MTV had no idea Jackson’s breast would be making an appearance – after all, CBS was too timid to run a spot criticizing the president. However, it seemed that Timberlake and Jackson were fully aware of what they were planning, without a doubt. Timberlake’s timing in relation to his lyrics, along with Jackson’s interesting clothing choices and ecstatic facial expression after the revelation make it clear that the two were in cahoots.

In a hilarious and charmingly useless bit of butt-covering and double-speak, Timberlake referred to the incident as a “wardrobe malfunction.” Right.

Timberlake and MTV, which produced the segment for CBS, insist the incident was not planned, and CBS “deeply regrets the incident,” according to spokesperson LeslieAnne Wade.

The Federal Communications Committee will be launching an investigation into the incident. Under current legislation, if Timberlake and Jackson are sued, they could face up to $27,500 in fines each – probably far less than either earned for the performance. If CBS is sued, fines could run into the millions.

Sure, it was in poor taste to reveal a mammary gland during the traditionally family-oriented halftime show. But does the FCC really need to swoop down and spend untold sums investigating “Nipplegate?” It’s probably a waste of time and effort.

Maybe this display was a tiny step for the United States in the direction most of the rest of the world has already gone, where tasteful nudity on television is the norm. If so, it could have been carried out with more class.

Maybe, though, this was just a monumental publicity stunt. Take that, former Mrs. Jason Allen Alexander and Mrs. Guy Ritchie – er, Britney Spears and Madonna .