Just another excuse to get naked?

It’s that time of the year again, when boob-tubers get another delicious taste of reality… It’s that time of the year again, when boob-tubers get another delicious taste of reality TV from its originators. A new season of “The Real World” started last Tuesday, and, for those who may not have seen any of the episodes thus far, the cast is again hunky and gorgeous.

Yes, MTV and Bunim-Murray, the producers of the show that has been running strong for more than a decade – it’s now in its 14th season – have no intentions of discontinuing the show.

“The Real World” and “Road Rules” still bring in the most ratings for MTV. New shows on the Music Television channel have a lifespan of about one season and, for the most part, don’t even last a regular season’s length. With the attention span of the United States growing shorter and shorter every day, it becomes easy to lose interest in something that only appears on a screen for less than 30 minutes and less than a season.

That being said, I congratulate MTV for finding something that does last longer than a measly season, and it’s nice to see that what started as an experiment of a show, with seven strangers picked to live in an apartment in New York City, in the very first season, has made its way throughout the United States and even abroad.

Reality television viewers have lived through these people every year, watching everything they do, listening to every conversation and every love session. It’s voyeurism at its lowest point, but it’s all legal and it sells.

I don’t have a problem with MTV continuing “The Real World” every year and doing almost the same thing over and over again, despite its tendency to get monotonous when the seasons start running several months for no reason whatsoever. I have lost interest in several casts in previous seasons, most recently season 13 in Paris. They bored the hell out of me halfway through that long and arduous season.

What I have a problem with, though, is that every season, no matter what location they choose to shoot the show, there is always a cast of seven gorgeous people. There is rarely a flaw with the cast members in the looks category. The guys are all hunks who wear Abercrombie and Fitch while walking around exposing their perfectly toned six packs. The women are all sex bombs who walk around teasing the men until a hook-up occurs. Then, of course, controversy ensues.

For the most part, such a cast lacks the charisma that is needed to keep an audience interested for an entire season; they are generally just hot things for the audience to goggle over.

In the entire span of “The Real World” there has never been a portly man in the cast. Never.

Yes, I know last season of “Road Rules” had one – poor Darnell who couldn’t accomplish half the missions but could kiss enough behind to keep from being left on for half of the show. He did, however, eventually get voted off. But this isn’t about “Road Rules.”

In the entire 14 seasons of “The Real World,” there has never been a husky male cast member. OK, I know what you are thinking: they aren’t entirely size discriminatory. There have been some ladies of size represented. Sharon, from “Real World London,” the fourth season, and Heather from season one in New York were both big girls.

Oh, wow, a whole two in 14 seasons, and those came early on in the history of the show.

What “The Real World” needs is a rotund man to go on there and liven things up a bit, someone who isn’t afraid of making a complete and total fool out of himself for the betterment of the broadcast. “The Real World” needs someone with whom everyone can get along for the most part, but can hate for a period of time as well.

I’m not a hunky guy with six-pack abs and great pecs. I’m a large, loveable guy who wants to have a good time, but can cause controversy, as well.

I want to be on “The Real World,” damn it.

I think I’d be great on the show, and rumor has it that there may be one shot in Pittsburgh. Sign me up; let me be the local guy who shows everyone on the cast how to have fun in the ‘Burgh. I think it would be amazing entertainment.

But, unfortunately, until MTV, Bunim-Murray and America open their eyes and realize that big is beautiful, then that day may never come.