Bol-ing on ice: ex-NBA star signs on with hockey team

Ladies and gentlemen, please put on you camouflage pants and safari hats, the pride and joy… Ladies and gentlemen, please put on you camouflage pants and safari hats, the pride and joy of the Dinka tribe of Sudan is back.

But rather than putting on his gym shoes and basketball shorts, or even a pair of boxing gloves, Manute Bol has decided to make his comeback someplace a little colder than the court.

Bol, who is 7-feet-7-inches, plans on lacing up a pair of skates and joining the Indianapolis Ice of the Central Hockey League.

After reaching an agreement Tuesday, Bol could be in uniform as early as Saturday, although it is unlikely he’ll get to play since the Ice can’t seem to find equipment that would fit the former basketball player.

As far as anyone knows, Bol has never even played hockey before, which makes the situation even more ridiculous.

So while I try to figure out just how tall Bol would be on a pair of skates, here is a list of nine other athletes whose switch from one sport to another would be just as crazy.

No. 9: Aaron Gibson

This former Detroit Lions tackle was one of the largest players in National Football League history, occasionally tipping the scales at over 400 pounds.

With that said, Gibson would make a perfect midfielder for the New England Revolution. With his agility and quickness, he might even be able to lead the league in goals. Or maybe not.

No. 8: Jesper Parnevik

Known more for his crazy outfits than his play on the course, this Swedish born golfer has the height to be a wide receiver.

Of course, Parnevik might need to add some weight to his slender 175-pound frame. Otherwise, one trip across the middle might spell the end for the 37-year-old’s football career.

No. 7: Shawn Bradley

At 7 feet 6 inches, there aren’t too many people in the National Basketball Association that are taller than Bradley. There also aren’t many players who are slower than Bradley.

Perhaps a switch to the tennis courts would do him some good. His ability to reach his lanky arms across the court to return shots would outweigh Bradley’s inability to move from side to side.

No. 6: Gilbert Brown

At 6 feet 2 inches and 339 pounds, it’s safe to say that Brown is a big man. Maybe when his football days are over, he could make the switch to gymnastics. I’m thinking he’d be great on the rings.

No. 5: Mike Tyson

We already know that there are plenty of things that Tyson should never be allowed to do, like run a day care center or judge a beauty pageant.

Figure skating is definitely on of those things, especially if Mike decides to wear sequined dress.

No. 4: Ichiro

The 2001 American League Most Valuable Player and Rookie of the Year surprised almost everyone by experiencing so much success after coming over from Japan.

Ichiro’s next surprise could come by announcing that he is leaving the Mariners to become a kicker for the Seahawks. At 5 feet 9 inches and 160 pounds, Ichiro is about the same size as a Gramatica brother. If he can actually kick is yet to be seen.

No. 3: Dan Marino

The NFL’s career leader in just about every passing category was not exactly known for his mobility on the football field. Injuries to his knee and a torn Achilles’ tendon limited Marino’s scrambling ability to almost nothing.

But if he were to just run in a straight line, like the 100-meter dash, Marino just might be the fastest man in the world.

No. 2: Keyshawn Johnson

At the rate which he finds the end zone, it might be a good idea for Johnson to consider a career change.

Following another loss to the Eagles in the first round of this year’s playoffs, Johnson could decide to become a professional badminton player and after one season with a racket in hand, write a book titled “Just Hit Me the Damn Birdie.”

No. 1: Me

While I am not an athlete, after writing a column like this I just might need to start looking for a new job.

Joe Marchilena is the assistant sports editor for The Pitt News and this seemed like a good idea when he started writing it.