Golden Globes offers few surprises

For as much predictability as TV and film awards bring every year, it always feels better when the obvious choice isn’t the same as last year’s.

Sunday night’s 73rd annual Golden Globe Awards saw much of the usual winners but with a few highlights that, while expected, will prevent this year’s awards from bleeding into our memories of Globes gone by.

This individuality is in part thanks to Brie Larson, who won Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama for her performance in “Room.” Larson stayed out of the sun for months prior to filming and dropped down to 12 percent body fat to accurately portray her imprisoned character.

We can also thank the Academy for digging up Sylvester Stallone for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture for his role in the “Rocky”-revival film “Creed.” This was his first time back at the Globes since his “Rocky” days ended 20 years ago, but his endearing acceptance speech, in which he said the fictional boxer was his best friend, made his win well worth the wait.

Larson and Stallone’s recognitions were some of the night’s redeeming moments among some other comedic triumphs, like spotting Aziz Ansari, who was nominated for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy, reading a book called “Losing to Jeffrey Tambor with Dignity.” But when they weren’t bleeped out, the most distinguishable moments were few and far between.

“This show is way too long, isn’t it? This could be half an hour,” said host Ricky Gervais, who recycled his same mean schitck for the fourth time and counting.

Gervais ultimately spoke the truest words of the ceremony, which spanned a lackluster three hours. The night’s biggest winner was Alejandro G. Iñárritu’s “The Revenant,” which despite — or perhaps because of — the director’s public self-indulgence, took home three awards, including Best Motion Picture, Drama; Best Director, Motion Picture (Iñárritu) and Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama (Leonardo DiCaprio).

The audience gave a lengthy, unironic cheer for DiCaprio’s win, clearly forgetting that this isn’t the ceremony where DiCaprio’s win is particularly notable — the Oscars aren’t until February. DiCaprio won a Globe last year for “The Wolf of Wall Street,” but has notoriously never grasped the gold man. Here’s looking at you, Academy.

The Todd Haynes drama “Carol,” starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, led the pack going into the night with five nominations. Unfortunately for Haynes — though very fortunate for people tired of seeing Blanchett win awards — it didn’t take home a single Globe.

Ridley Scott’s “The Martian” received two awards, one for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy — whose placing in the comedy category brought subtle jabs throughout the night — and one for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy (Matt Damon). Upon accepting the award for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy, Scott addressed the lingering, Hollywood-sized question when he said, “Comedy? Eeh.”

Amazon Prime’s “Mozart in the Jungle” also came away with two wins for Best Television Series, Musical or Comedy, and Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy (Gael García Bernal). Maybe it’s finally time to use that free six-month student trial for something other than textbook purchases.

Somewhat surprisingly, USA’s newest drama “Mr. Robot” won in two categories, Best Television Series, Drama and Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television (Christian Slater). According to IMDb, Slater has 114 acting credits to his name, though for me, his last memorable performance was in 1988 as the attractive sociopath J.D. in “Heathers.” It’s good to know he’s not totally irrelevant anymore.

Unsurprisingly, Jennifer Lawrence took home the Globe for Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy for the movie “Joy.” These days, it doesn’t seem like an award show if Lawrence doesn’t win something.

Luckily, Taraji P. Henson shook the night up with her first Globe award, which came as Best Performance by an Actress in a TV series, Drama, for her role as Cookie on “Empire.” Henson passed out cookies to surrounding celebrities on her way to the podium, confusing everybody who didn’t get the connection — which appeared to be most of them.

For the sixth year in a row, Jon Hamm won a Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series, Drama award for his role as Don Draper on “Mad Men,” which was almost as predictable as Kate Winslet, who won Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in any Motion Picture for “Steve Jobs.” This was Winslet’s third Golden Globes win and 10th nomination.

Many noted the Globes’ cultural irrelevance, including Jim Carrey, whose beard was almost as long as his two-minute existential introduction for Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy. Carrey’s observations on the Globes’ triviality, while funny, were ultimately redundant by the end of the night. The awards to Hamm, DiCaprio, Lawrence and even Pixar, with “Inside Out’s” victory for Best Motion Picture, Animated, had already declared as much.