Dear Kelly: January 30, 2014

Dear Kelly,

It’s freakishly frigid. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Frozen (not the movie)

Dear Frozen,

If I’ve learned anything from my time in Pittsburgh, it’s that winters here are a force to be reckoned with. There’s no getting around it if you’re living in Pittsburgh between the months of December and April. A Pitt shuttle driver even told me once that his mother saw snow fall in this city in June. 

Though the winters here are long and frigid, fear not. Here are some tips on how the average student can conquer the cold without transferring to Arizona:

For starters, don’t live in Centre Plaza. The students brave enough to spend a year or more in the Shadyside student apartments face a longer commute (about a mile) to campus than any other student living in Pitt-owned buildings. Though there is a Pitt shuttle-tracking app for smartphones, its glitches and faulty arrival estimations can result in frozen toes and fingers. 

Another trick to beating the cold is to take advantage of your parents’ money (Panther Funds) or your meal plan by spending that money on soup at The Perch or Quick Zone. Both offer not only soup, but other microwavable food that is more than capable of warming you up (like Bagel Bites — God, those are delicious).  

Use those dining dollars and Market swipes. God knows you bought too many, anyway, so put them to good use by keeping warm this semester. 

Don’t have Market swipes? Check out last week’s column to learn how to get into Market without your own swipes.

Dear Kelly,

I’ve found myself in a “Survivor”-like situation. My four friends and I are in the midst of apartment hunting, but four of us have decided that five’s a crowd. How do we break it to the fifth friend without destroying the friendship?

Help!

Like “Survivor,” but colder

Dear Survivor,

You’re in luck. Having just wrapped up three and a half seasons of “The Walking Dead” over the first two weeks of classes, I feel adequately prepared for virtually any discussion of group dynamics.

Here’s the bad news. That friend that you’re abandoning? He or she is probably not going to want to be friends anymore. For many of us, college is the first time we’ve had to balance friendships with real-life issues — like living situations. This means you’ve got to make tough choices, and sometimes your friends lose. Naturally, anyone short of an absolute saint isn’t going to be all that forgiving about it.

Here’s the (sort of) good news. Nothing brings people together quite like conspiracy. By sitting in a dark room plotting how to ruthlessly betray that unfortunate fifth friend, you’ve guaranteed that your other friends will become that much closer. After all, you’re doing a pretty terrible thing, and you’re going to have to live with that. So when the guilt’s keeping you all up at night: slumber party!

Good luck!