Editorial: Top 10 reasons Pitt students are so tired

Anytime someone asks us how we are, we respond that we’re tired — because here at The Pitt News, we’re committed to getting the facts right. And anytime we tell a college graduate of any age that we’re tired, they respond, “Of course — it’s midterm season, after all.”

We certainly don’t enjoy midterms, or midterm season for that matter, but there are a whole slew of other reasons we’re exhausted. And because, as we said, we’re committed to facts, here are the top 10 reasons aside from midterms that we’re exhausted.

10. The line at Einstein’s

Whether it’s the stand in Posvar or the stand in Benedum, you’re going to need an extra coffee just from waiting at least 20 minutes for your plain bagel with cream cheese and your hazelnut vanilla coffee that you insist on drinking iced, even when it’s 47 degrees outside. Is waiting for a cup o’ joe an acceptable excuse for being tardy to SOC 0010? Well, there’s only one way to find out.

9. No fall break

Some of us purposefully scheduled a night class for Monday so that we could miss it over fall break — which is the one random Monday in October Pitt has always given students off. Then, Pitt decided to take away fall break and ruin our day off. And to think, we had just started to forgive it for destroying 7-Eleven.

8. Cathy stairs

Is it OK to drop a class because it’s on the third floor of the Cathedral? We’re asking for a friend. Nobody wants to be the person to press the elevator button to the third floor, especially when they’re standing right next to a sign that specifically orders them not to do so. We’re all for sustainability, but our quads are screaming and burning.

7. Trump

The commander in chief paid Pittsburgh a visit yesterday. He’s basically a Dementor, which is to say that his presence within a 50-mile radius is soul-sucking and exhausting. The clown didn’t even win the electoral or popular vote in Allegheny County — for our sake, just keep him out of here.

6. Trying to print PDFs

College student’s gratitude journal: 

I did not burn my mac and cheese in the microwave. 

I managed to wait until after chem lecture ended to cry. 

My PDF printed correctly on the first try.

Most of us have never actually experienced the latter. Ask us again what happened to our printing dollars.

5. House Hunters: South O Edition

Lease signing season is upon us, folks. Look, we have nothing against a good game of phone tag. It’s just exhausting when the opponent happens to be a landlord renting us a house without a dishwasher or AC, and with a fist sized hole in the wall — for the $873 a person monthly rent. Utilities included. Maybe.

4. Rising tuition

Insert scoff. Parents these days will never know what it’s like to work three jobs just to pay rising tuition and buy groceries.

3. Scheduling

You want to take racquetball, but it falls during the same time block as the senior seminar in literature capstone you are required to take. You’re tired, and it’s valid. Decision fatigue is a real phenomenon.

2. Missing umbrella

This is how one can tell when rain is coming upon Pittsburgh. Simply check the weather app, and if it says rain, prepare for rain. If it says sun, prepare for rain. Or, lose your umbrella to ensure a downpour. Then, spend three hours of precious study time walking from building to building in the rain, searching for what you know you’re not going to find.

1. Missing the Coffee and Copy events

Though we usually leave our horoscopes up to our staff astrologist Allison, today we have a prediction for all students. If you stopped by The Pitt News table in the Litchfield Towers lobby yesterday morning — where you could grab a free cup of coffee and a newspaper — you’re less exhausted than you typically would be. If you missed this month’s Copy and Coffee event, don’t worry. You can catch the one at the end of November.