Opinions

Opinion | Please don’t ask what I’m doing after graduation

I understand the curiosity in wanting to know what my plans are after graduation, what job I’ll have or what city I’ll end up in, and trust me — I would love to know too. If your family is anything like my family, you understand what I’m referring to. Sure, they just want to know what your plans are for the future, but it’s exhausting hearing the same questions continuously since junior year. 

The idea of having a perfect plan post-graduation is outdated. Depending on your career path, they may want you ready to start the job within 2-3 weeks, which is a tad hard to do in February or March when you’re finishing up your final semester’s worth of classes. I understand wanting to start job applications early, but sometimes you’re just not able to. 

The question of ‘So what are your plans for after graduation?’ usually comes from an innocent place, especially from friends, family, coworkers, loved ones, etc. But it also comes with unintended pressure. 

In all honesty, I’m not entirely certain what’s next. Right now all I can tell you is that I’m planning on applying for jobs in careers I’m interested in and seeing where it goes. Of course, this semi-terrifies me. In today’s world that glorifies hustle and five-year plans, it’s anxiety-inducing to not have a plan fully figured out and multiple versions of a plan based on what-ifs. 

Naturally, I have goals and plans for my future, things I hope I can accomplish — everyone does. What’s entangled with graduation is the idea that we need to have all of this figured out. We should know how we’re going to accomplish our dreams or land our dream job. The fact of the matter is simple — that’s not attainable or realistic. 

I know I’m not the only one feeling this way with dreams and ambitions for their futures. What’s hard to realize and sit with is that these ambitions become tangled in webs of anxiety, financial realities and the ongoing process of figuring out what we truly want. When staring down an uncertain path that’s not fully figured out yet, being asked about it — over and over — can feel like a stab at your anxieties and uncertainty. Each inquiry starts reflecting your doubts, and each polite smile, awkward pause or forced answer becomes a reminder that you’re supposed to have answers that you simply don’t — at least not yet.

Society has trained us to believe that there is a right way to graduate — either having a job lined up and ready to go or continuing your education. But there’s no one universal or right way to transition out of undergrad. Sure, there are traditional paths of doing so, but there isn’t a right or a wrong way. If you want to wait and apply for jobs after traveling this summer or even taking a gap year to figure out what you want next, there’s nothing wrong with that. Society wants us to be ready to go right after undergrad, ready to start our adult lives and have them figured out. Even when I get a job after graduation at some point, I’m not going to have my life figured out — not at all, in all honesty. 

We are still in our early 20s — there shouldn’t be a rush to have everything figured out, get our perfect job or even know if this career path is the one we want to pursue. Everyone is unique, and their life path should also be unique — it’s tiring to believe that we all should follow the same steps after undergrad. However, the pressure to conform in order to have the perfect answer to ‘What’s next?’ is as tempting as blaming your procrastination on senioritis. The idea that we need to have an ideal or impressive answer can make us feel like we’re falling behind even before we’ve started.  

It’s time to rethink how we approach conversations with soon-to-be graduates. Focusing on the present and creating space for meaningful dialogue without the pressure of a neatly packaged plan reflects how most graduates feel and acknowledges there is no perfect path after graduation. They recognize that our worth isn’t tied to our productivity or achievements but to who we are and what we care about.

For those of us on the receiving end, it’s okay to set boundaries or redirect the conversation. It’s okay to say, “I’m still figuring that out,” or “I’m exploring a few options right now.” Uncertainty isn’t a weakness — it’s a natural part of growth. Recognizing that we don’t have a set-in-stone plan and are still in the process of figuring out what we want next should be a natural response to inquiries about our post-graduation plans. 

To friends, family and anyone tempted to ask a soon-to-be graduate what they’re doing next, know that it’s okay to wonder and ask questions — that’s natural. But also work to understand our society and how these expectations make us feel. Let us celebrate graduating college and achieving this milestone instead of rushing into the next phase of our lives — a phase that no one figures out on their first go.

Emily O’Neil writes primarily about societal issues, politics and campus life. Write to her at ero26@pitt.edu.

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