Dear Kelly: Subletter Edition

Dear Kelly,

My subletter is a nightmare. He filthies up the kitchen and sits in the living room all day playing his PlayStation 3. I feel bound to my bedroom. What’s the best way to cope with the situation?

Sincerely,

Trapped in the Bedroom

Dear Trapped in the Bedroom,

I’ve been there. Just last summer, I lived with the most bizarre human being on Earth — at least tied with Gary Busey. Much like your subletter, he had a video game addiction and didn’t want to give up the living room for anything. The kitchen was also a dead zone — except for the flies.

Dishes piled to the ceiling. Peanut butter stained the floor. But worst of all, he filled an entire trash can with unfinished food, inviting hundreds of fly families to feast on his leftovers. This would have been fine, but my subletter got creative with fixing the problem.

He hung a whip-smart diversion — a plastic bag of chewed up watermelon — on the front door. When this plan didn’t work for days on end, he moved it to the bathroom door. Unfortunately, both of these doors were too far away from the flies, who continued to devour our garbage.

Long story short, I toughed it out. Subletters can have some strange quirks, but they’re only temporary. Try to get out as much as you can, and build strong friendships, so you’ll never have to invest in a flyswatter again.

Sincerely,

Kelly

Dear Kelly,

I’m afraid that I’ll be a subletter next semester and am worried sick. Have you ever been a subletter, and, if so, how did you cope with living in a house with complete strangers?

Sincerely,

Fretful Stranger

Dear Fretful Stranger,

Subletting can be a challenge. Some students, myself included, found themselves with the semester about to start, with their backs against the walls and aren’t left with many choices. I was fortunate enough to find a nice house, with a new kitchen, spacious living room and a washer and dryer — the whole nine yards. But I was a bit cautious when I found out that all of my roommates would be girls. 

As a football loving, meat-eating guy, I wasn’t sure how well I would fit into a house full of girls. I never considered myself a slob, but what would these girls think? Would I be able to watch all of my football? And what about the bathroom? I shuddered.

Fortunately for me, I found myself a great group of roommates — completely by accident. While sports may not have been on as much I would have liked, I did find that they were almost as big of football fans as I was. So for any guy in a similar bind, no need to worry. Besides, you’ll eat more baked goods than you could at Market.

Sincerely,

Kelly