Everyone is exhausted. If you are not exhausted, you are lying. Or maybe you’re just superhuman. Anyway, last week, we wrote an editorial on why Student Self-Care Day was absolutely pointless. Technically this was a hypothesis, but now that Student Self-Care Day has passed, we are back with our results. Here are the top 10 things we did on Student Self-Care Day. You can infer for yourself whether or not there was any care involved.
Usually, we only scroll through TikTok, but since we had some extra time on Student Self-Care Day, we made a TikTok. The TikTok is just a video of us screaming. You can’t watch it because it’s private, and because it may or may not be purely metaphorical. Either way, does it really matter?
Anyone whose school only gave them 24 hours of no class in the middle of midterms needs to be checked on.
It’s only time to do the dishes when they’re stacked so high in the sink that you can’t get your water bottle under the faucet, and therefore, cannot drink water. Laundry essentially goes the same way — you do it when you run out of socks and underwear. So we wouldn’t exactly call this self care, but at least we have clean spoons.
This one literally doesn’t even matter because at this point in the semester, we need to drink six consecutive cups to even feel the effects of caffeine, and we are too tired to make six consecutive cups of coffee.
We do this every day, but since we had an extra two hours, we walked to Schenley and cried in the park.
We slept in an extra two hours and then stayed up an extra two hours doing homework.
No, we don’t mean going into a salon. We’re talking old school, kitchen shears to dry hair. It’s uneven and shorter than expected, but nothing provides serotonin naturally like a self-inflicted haircut.
If you think we changed our my.pitt password before the “zero days left” warning, you’re wrong. No, we are not going to change our my.pitt password before my.pitt absolutely forces us to do so. And we’ve been using the same password since our first semester anyway — we’re just rotating through every symbol.
We tried to self care. We really did. But it mostly just stressed us out more, because we had work to do, and we weren’t doing it. Ultimately, Student Self-Care Day was just a reminder that our lives are saturated with capitalist tropes. Fun.
Many of us had exams the following day, or assignments due the next morning, so we just spent the day working as usual, filling our extra two hours of time with — you guessed it — more school work.
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