satire Archives - The Pitt News

Satire | 6 pieces of advice for a (semi) normal year

By Tim Moxey, For The Pitt News • August 20, 2021

I’m here to guide you through reacclimating to life in what will — hopefully — be a somewhat normal year.

Humor | Top 10 favorite things about antidepressants

By Alex Dolinger, Senior Staff Columnist • April 9, 2021

SNRIs are the best thing that has ever happened to senior staff columnist Alex Dolinger.

Satire | An open letter to grad school

By Anne Marie Yurik, Senior Staff Columnist • March 12, 2021

Read senior staff columnist Anne Marie Yurik’s open letter to grad school in homage of the grueling admissions process.

Satire | Love after Valentine’s Day

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • February 21, 2021

Columnist Anne Marie Yurik discovers what love really looks like, without the rose-colored Valentine’s Day glasses.

Satire | Top 5 best and worst ways to date during a pandemic

By Alex Dolinger, Senior Staff Columnist • February 9, 2021

Here are the top five best and the top five worst ways to date while remaining socially distant, in order.

Editorial | Top 10 non-groundhog things that should determine the weather

By The Pitt News Editorial Board • February 5, 2021

Groundhog Day started in 1887, and The Pitt News Editorial Board thinks it should end in 2021.

Satire | Yoga through the eyes of someone who can’t touch their toes

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist • February 5, 2021

To finally give you what nobody wanted — let’s talk about yoga.

Satire | We need to ban ‘pandemic language’ once this is all over

By Remy Samuels, Staff Columnist • January 29, 2021

Here is a list of some frustrating pandemic words/phrases I have compiled.

Satire | Top 10 resolutions you can keep in quarantine

By Alex Dolinger, Senior Staff Columnist • January 20, 2021

Whether we spend another year inching toward the ever-encroaching void or actually start interacting in public again, here are 10 ways I’m attempting to make 2021 a year to regret less than usual.

Satire | Nine ways I would have pranked the voter fraud hotline

By Alex Dolinger, Senior Staff Columnist • November 20, 2020

It is too late for senior staff columnist Alex Dolinger to call the voter fraud hotline, but it is never too late for them to capitalize on their mildly humorous ideas through this publication.