The Pitt News

Satire | Top 10 ways to relieve quarantine depression

Satire | Top 10 ways to relieve quarantine depression

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

September 17, 2020

When this all began, I was pretty optimistic. I thought after a couple weeks of working out and baking some stupid bread, we would be on track for a normal school year.

Satire | Dispatches from a South Oakland dog

Columnist Anne-Marie Yurik poses with her dog, Texas Ted.

By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist

September 13, 2020

Read about the South Oakland adventures of your soon-to-be favorite 12-pound pooch, Ted, as he takes on the mean streets of Pittsburgh.

Satire | Top 10 ways to have fun outdoors

Geese and pigeons can be seen around campus and in Schenley park.

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

September 3, 2020

t’s been a while since a lot of us have played outside, so it’s easy to be unsure what to do.

Satire | The Plague Diaries: Dispatches from 1348

Satire | The Plague Diaries: Dispatches from 1348

By Alison Sivitz, Staff Columnist

August 27, 2020

I stumbled across a dusty journal wedged underneath a floorboard in my attic. While the pages were practically falling apart, the writing was just legible enough for me to read.

Satire | Nine problems therapy dogs can’t fix

Satire | Nine problems therapy dogs can’t fix

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

August 20, 2020

This is shaping up to be an anxiety-inducing school year, and without our furry friends to give us their silent yet transcendent wisdom, we are essentially raw-dogging it through a year when we need dogs most.

Satire | What not to do as a first year

Satire | What not to do as a first year

By Genna Edwards, Senior Staff Columnist

July 23, 2020

Don’t drink from the Cathy water fountains. They’re, like, oddly warm.

A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne

A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne

By Leah Mensch, Opinions Editor

April 19, 2020

If you don’t know Allison Dantinne, then that’s truly a shame. But, you still have about a week before virtual graduation to find her email at the bottom of one of her satire pieces, email her and arrange a Zoom meeting.

Humor | How to make online classes more exciting

Humor | How to make online classes more exciting

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

April 9, 2020

I’ve realized through several days of online classes that this new world of learning gives us several opportunities for amusement, if only we take advantage. Thus, I bring you my top 10 ways to make your online classes exciting and fun.

Satire | COVID-19 bros to avoid

Satire | COVID-19 bros to avoid

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist

April 2, 2020

If you’re searching for love during the COVID-19 pandemic (safely on apps, hopefully) here are some bros to avoid like, well, the plague. 

April Fools Edition | Local mother takes walks to escape children

Taking a walk around your neighborhood is a good break when sitting at a desk or staying in bed all day.

By Mary Rose O'Donnell, Contributing Editor

March 31, 2020

A local mother went on three neighborhood walks yesterday after her children got on her last nerves.

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