Satire | COVID-19 bros to avoid
By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist
April 2, 2020
If you’re searching for love during the COVID-19 pandemic (safely on apps, hopefully) here are some bros to avoid like, well, the plague.
April Fools Edition | Local mother takes walks to escape children
By Mary Rose O'Donnell, Contributing Editor
March 31, 2020
A local mother went on three neighborhood walks yesterday after her children got on her last nerves.
April Fools Edition | Pitt student puts on “real” clothes for the first time in weeks
By Ashton Crawley, Senior Staff Writer
March 31, 2020
Pitt junior Joe Smith was running dangerously low on his quarantine snacks and knew it was time to venture outside.
Satire | Why Pitt’s housing carts don’t make sense
By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist
March 26, 2020
These carts are sneaky and I do not care for it.
Satire | Shopping at Market District: Special coronavirus edition
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
March 26, 2020
I must walk to the grocery store and get some things to sustain me.
Humor | Pittsburgh Port Authority Bus Alignment
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
February 28, 2020
Yes, buses have personalities. And yes, I’m only choosing a select few that have distinct vibes or that I have personal feelings about. Shut up. I’m tired and correct.
Satire | Valentines Horoscopes
By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist
February 13, 2020
Mercury is in retrograde and love is hard. That’s all. That’s it. Let’s look to the stars to understand our weird human emotions on this weird human emotions day.
Pitt sports teams as past partners
By Stephen Thompson, Assistant Sports Editor
February 13, 2020
What if Pitt's athletes personified the teams they play for? Well, you might be in for the same disappointment felt as a fan.
Opinion | My top 10 Tinder messages: cringey, creative and comical
By Sarah Connor, Contributing Editor
February 13, 2020
All messages are 100% real and from my own personal Tinder interactions.
Satire | Sleeping around — what different majors are like in bed
By Paige Lawler, Senior Staff Columnist
February 13, 2020
Before you hop into bed with anybody new, consult this list to see if they’re even worth your time.