The Pitt News

Satire | How to escape a conversation with a “Film Bro”

Satire | How to escape a conversation with a “Film Bro”

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist

January 16, 2020

You’ll find Film Bros everywhere, or a type like them in every major — you can’t escape.

Satire | January Horoscopes

Satire | January Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

January 9, 2020

The new year rolled around and we’re all the same people.

Satire | Top 10 resolutions you can actually keep

Satire | Top 10 resolutions you can actually keep

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

January 5, 2020

I know that things look bleak, but I come bearing solutions, i.e. 10 small and easy resolutions that are exactly what you need to have the best year ever.

Satire | An afternoon on the 10A

Satire | An afternoon on the 10A

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

December 5, 2019

No one is safe from my watchful eye and quick writing now, even if I didn’t find many students sufficiently wildin’.

Satire | A day in the life of Ricardo, my South Oakland House Mouse

Satire | A day in the life of Ricardo, my South Oakland House Mouse

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

November 13, 2019

Ricardo the South Oakland House Mouse begins his day as all South Oakland mice do.

Satire | November Horoscopes

Satire | November Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

November 7, 2019

The stars have excitement in store for everyone this November.

Editorial: Top 10 roads Pitt should close along with Bigelow

Editorial: Top 10 roads Pitt should close along with Bigelow

By The Pitt News Editorial Board

November 7, 2019

While we’re coming to terms road closure, we thought of 10 streets Pitt should close in addition to Bigelow Boulevard.

Satire: Completely reasonable expectations for Pitt basketball

Satire: Completely reasonable expectations for Pitt basketball

By Trent Leonard, Sports Editor

November 6, 2019

Xavier Johnson averaging a triple double? Trey McGowens making the leap to one of the nation’s top scorers? Pitt making a run at the ACC Championship? All very logical possibilities, writes sports editor Trent Leonard.

Satire | Top 10 considerations for an Uber Copter future

Satire | Top 10 considerations for an Uber Copter future

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

October 31, 2019

The future is upon us, my friends. Uber announced in July the beginnings of helicopter services in New York City to and from JFK Airport for $200, with plans to expand and make aerial ridesharing available to the masses by as early as 2023. This rich nonsense has me imagining a future where ordering ...

Satire | An Early Morning in Pittsburgh International Airport

Satire | An Early Morning in Pittsburgh International Airport

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

October 24, 2019

TSA screening is the best place to observe human interaction.

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