The Pitt News

A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne

A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne

By Leah Mensch, Opinions Editor

April 19, 2020

If you don’t know Allison Dantinne, then that’s truly a shame. But, you still have about a week before virtual graduation to find her email at the bottom of one of her satire pieces, email her and arrange a Zoom meeting.

Humor | How to make online classes more exciting

Humor | How to make online classes more exciting

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

April 9, 2020

I’ve realized through several days of online classes that this new world of learning gives us several opportunities for amusement, if only we take advantage. Thus, I bring you my top 10 ways to make your online classes exciting and fun.

Satire | COVID-19 bros to avoid

Satire | COVID-19 bros to avoid

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist

April 2, 2020

If you’re searching for love during the COVID-19 pandemic (safely on apps, hopefully) here are some bros to avoid like, well, the plague. 

April Fools Edition | Local mother takes walks to escape children

Taking a walk around your neighborhood is a good break when sitting at a desk or staying in bed all day.

By Mary Rose O'Donnell, Contributing Editor

March 31, 2020

A local mother went on three neighborhood walks yesterday after her children got on her last nerves.

April Fools Edition | Pitt student puts on “real” clothes for the first time in weeks

Many of us have been wearing nothing but sweatpants for two weeks.

By Ashton Crawley, Senior Staff Writer

March 31, 2020

Pitt junior Joe Smith was running dangerously low on his quarantine snacks and knew it was time to venture outside.

Satire | Why Pitt’s housing carts don’t make sense

Satire | Why Pitt’s housing carts don’t make sense

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

March 26, 2020

These carts are sneaky and I do not care for it.

Satire | Shopping at Market District: Special coronavirus edition

Satire | Shopping at Market District: Special coronavirus edition

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

March 26, 2020

I must walk to the grocery store and get some things to sustain me.

Humor | Pittsburgh Port Authority Bus Alignment

Humor | Pittsburgh Port Authority Bus Alignment

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

February 28, 2020

Yes, buses have personalities. And yes, I’m only choosing a select few that have distinct vibes or that I have personal feelings about. Shut up. I’m tired and correct.

Satire | Valentines Horoscopes

Satire | Valentines Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

February 13, 2020

Mercury is in retrograde and love is hard. That’s all. That’s it. Let’s look to the stars to understand our weird human emotions on this weird human emotions day.

Pitt sports teams as past partners

Pitt men’s basketball has repaired Pitt fans’ relationship with our athletic teams.

By Stephen Thompson, Assistant Sports Editor

February 13, 2020

What if Pitt's athletes personified the teams they play for? Well, you might be in for the same disappointment felt as a fan.

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