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The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper

The Pitt News

Notre Dame football players in 1924.

Satire | Notre Dame’s identity crisis

By Ava Nicholas, Senior Staff Writer November 11, 2025

As Notre Dame (6-2) prepares to take on Pitt (5-1 ACC, 7-2) at Acrisure Stadium on Nov. 15, now is as good a time as any to address the elephant in the room. Or rather, the leprechaun in the room. Because...

Spin scooter rentals on a sidewalk.

Satire | How to handle the student athlete scooter scourge

By James Carter, Staff Writer October 21, 2025

I love the University of Pittsburgh — this school that I have studied, partied and grown at is one of the most special places in my mind and soul. And, of course, the students attending this great institution...

Junior linebacker Kyle Louis (9) at Pitt's game against Duquesne on August 30, 2025.

Satire | Top 13 reasons WVU is better than Pitt — besides football

By Patrick Diana, Staff Writer September 10, 2025

Everyone knows West Virginia University is better than Pitt at football. But not many know that a more generalized Mountaineer greatness extends to both the city of Morgantown and the entire state of West...

The Cathedral of Learning and the William Pitt Union.

Satire | I miss spring break Pitt

By Alaina McCall, Senior Staff Columnist March 17, 2025

There are many upsides and many downsides to spring break, much like life. On the upside, we get a break from classes, granting us time to catch up on all the assignments we are severely behind on. Campus...

Satire | The best and worst Valentine’s Day spots at Pitt

Satire | The best and worst Valentine’s Day spots at Pitt

By Alaina McCall, Senior Staff Columnist February 12, 2025

As a senior at Pitt, I’ve been to almost every restaurant on or near Forbes. Some way too many times. As such, I am the leading expert on which restaurants will make your boo break up with you, and which...

Satire | Holiday Cheer, and so can you!

Satire | Holiday Cheer, and so can you!

By Raquel Padin-Nicholas, Staff Columnist November 18, 2024
Trust me, I understand how hard the results of this election season were. Still, nothing says out of sight, out of mind quite like the avalanche of holidays that are about to hit us.
Satire | Undecided voters having trouble choosing between Block of Wood and Baby Eater

Satire | Undecided voters having trouble choosing between Block of Wood and Baby Eater

By Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor October 21, 2024
As the election draws near, many Pittsburgh voters are confident in their upcoming decision at the ballot box — but there is still a large sect of the population that can’t quite decide between their two options.
The West Virginia Mountaineer mascot charges onto the field ahead of the players before the Backyard Brawl in Morgantown, West Virginia, on Saturday, Sept. 16, 2023

Satire | Why WVU is better than Pitt

By Camille de Jesus, Staff Writer September 10, 2024

Love, gratitude and friendship. There aren’t three words that could better describe the undying relationship between West Virginia and Pittsburgh.  With 129 years of history between the two schools,...

Halket Street in Oakland.

Satire | Pitt student loses mind after all his friends go home for summer

By Thomas Riley, Opinions Editor June 6, 2023
Without schoolwork taking up their evenings, students can spend more free time with their friends — but what about those whose friends moved back home for the summer?
Satire | Climate change is going to kill Punxsutawney Phil

Satire | Climate change is going to kill Punxsutawney Phil

By Jessica Snyder, Senior Staff Columnist February 6, 2023
It’s becoming harder and harder to put faith in our little Punxsutawney vermin. The period at the beginning of the year was often a transition from winter to spring, so most of his predictions weren’t too hard to believe. I’d even say that they were sometimes actually right. If this year’s prediction doesn’t completely disenfranchise Phil, he should at least get laid off until he proves he can provide accurate information.
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