Satire | Top 10 ways to relieve quarantine depression
By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist
September 17, 2020
When this all began, I was pretty optimistic. I thought after a couple weeks of working out and baking some stupid bread, we would be on track for a normal school year.
Satire | Dispatches from a South Oakland dog
By Anne Marie Yurik, Staff Columnist
September 13, 2020
Read about the South Oakland adventures of your soon-to-be favorite 12-pound pooch, Ted, as he takes on the mean streets of Pittsburgh.
Satire | Top 10 ways to have fun outdoors
By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist
September 3, 2020
t’s been a while since a lot of us have played outside, so it’s easy to be unsure what to do.
Satire | The Plague Diaries: Dispatches from 1348
By Alison Sivitz, Staff Columnist
August 27, 2020
I stumbled across a dusty journal wedged underneath a floorboard in my attic. While the pages were practically falling apart, the writing was just legible enough for me to read.
Satire | Nine problems therapy dogs can’t fix
By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist
August 20, 2020
This is shaping up to be an anxiety-inducing school year, and without our furry friends to give us their silent yet transcendent wisdom, we are essentially raw-dogging it through a year when we need dogs most.
Satire | What not to do as a first year
By Genna Edwards, Senior Staff Columnist
July 23, 2020
Don’t drink from the Cathy water fountains. They’re, like, oddly warm.
A Farewell to the Opinions Satirist, Allison Dantinne
By Leah Mensch, Opinions Editor
April 19, 2020
If you don’t know Allison Dantinne, then that’s truly a shame. But, you still have about a week before virtual graduation to find her email at the bottom of one of her satire pieces, email her and arrange a Zoom meeting.
Humor | How to make online classes more exciting
By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist
April 9, 2020
I’ve realized through several days of online classes that this new world of learning gives us several opportunities for amusement, if only we take advantage. Thus, I bring you my top 10 ways to make your online classes exciting and fun.
Satire | COVID-19 bros to avoid
By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist
April 2, 2020
If you’re searching for love during the COVID-19 pandemic (safely on apps, hopefully) here are some bros to avoid like, well, the plague.
April Fools Edition | Local mother takes walks to escape children
By Mary Rose O'Donnell, Contributing Editor
March 31, 2020
A local mother went on three neighborhood walks yesterday after her children got on her last nerves.