The Pitt News

Satire | A day in the life of Ricardo, my South Oakland House Mouse

Satire | A day in the life of Ricardo, my South Oakland House Mouse

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

November 13, 2019

Ricardo the South Oakland House Mouse begins his day as all South Oakland mice do.

Satire | November Horoscopes

Satire | November Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

November 7, 2019

The stars have excitement in store for everyone this November.

Editorial: Top 10 roads Pitt should close along with Bigelow

Editorial: Top 10 roads Pitt should close along with Bigelow

By The Pitt News Editorial Board

November 7, 2019

While we’re coming to terms road closure, we thought of 10 streets Pitt should close in addition to Bigelow Boulevard.

Satire: Completely reasonable expectations for Pitt basketball

Satire: Completely reasonable expectations for Pitt basketball

By Trent Leonard, Sports Editor

November 6, 2019

Xavier Johnson averaging a triple double? Trey McGowens making the leap to one of the nation’s top scorers? Pitt making a run at the ACC Championship? All very logical possibilities, writes sports editor Trent Leonard.

Satire | Top 10 considerations for an Uber Copter future

Satire | Top 10 considerations for an Uber Copter future

By Alex Dolinger, Staff Columnist

October 31, 2019

The future is upon us, my friends. Uber announced in July the beginnings of helicopter services in New York City to and from JFK Airport for $200, with plans to expand and make aerial ridesharing available to the masses by as early as 2023. This rich nonsense has me imagining a future where ordering ...

Satire | An Early Morning in Pittsburgh International Airport

Satire | An Early Morning in Pittsburgh International Airport

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

October 24, 2019

TSA screening is the best place to observe human interaction.

Satire | A Night in the Starbucks Zone

Satire |  A Night in the Starbucks Zone

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

September 25, 2019

What has Starbucks been hiding from us between 9 p.m. and 5 a.m., besides worn-out employees? It’s time for me to find out so you don’t have to.

Satire | How to make small talk with people from high school

Satire | How to make small talk with people from high school

By Genna Edwards, Staff Columnist

September 19, 2019

Use these tips and neither you nor Sarah will break a sweat trying to chit-chat while the professor searches for a working Expo marker.

What to do in the fall if you hate football

What to do in the fall if you hate football

By Delilah Bourque and Sarah Connor, Contributing Editors

September 18, 2019

For some, the air cooling and people pulling their fall wardrobes out of storage can only mean one thing — football season. For the rest of us, the best we can do is try to make the most of our Sundays until February rolls around. Here are some of the best ways to spend your fall if you’re not a football fan.

Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes

Satire | LinkedIn Horoscopes

By Allison Dantinne, Senior Staff Columnist

September 11, 2019

Here are some tips, directly from the stars, to help you optimize your LinkedIn experience.

The University of Pittsburgh's Daily Student Newspaper
satire