Hey friends,

As I write this week’s installment, I am at the very end of spring break. I’m sitting at my desk in my childhood room, slightly bitter that school resumes on Monday. I’ve dragged my feet for writing this post, feeling like I don’t have anything truly of substance to say. Thankfully, I love to talk, and within a few minutes of pondering, I decided I should obviously discuss spring break, but more importantly — spring break free time. 

Like some of you, I feel like I didn’t get a proper reset for the second half of the semester. Spring break is one of the most important times to clean, organize and basically run all the errands or chores that you otherwise would put off until you were “more free.”

The reality is, there is no true free time. So, my discovery of this week has been more of a cruel and unforgiving one, to say the least. As much as I love to write about fun school trips, coffee shops, food, movies and other socially enjoyable things, my biweekly discovery is sometimes unsatisfactory as it can feel like more of a life lesson. As much as I feel like I had no time to relax or accomplish anything, I actually did quite a bit.

My friends and I rented a cabin in Deep Creek, Maryland, for the weekend. So, right off the bat, I spent the day before break purchasing food and packing other supplies for the fun weekend away. Although vacation is usually exciting, it still took a lot of time, planning and effort on all of our ends to make sure we had everything ready. 

On Tuesday, I returned home and spent the majority of the rest of my break running around with errands for my sorority, making doctors, dentist and nail appointments and generally just completing tasks I’ve been putting off for months. Prescriptions need to be picked up, winter clothes need to be sorted and weeded through as the warmer months approach and rooms are in need of a good deep clean. 

I seemed to blink, and there are a mere two days left before I have to pack everything up and return to my dorm at school. Midterms alone made me exhausted, much like the rest of you, so the thought of going back and doing it all over seems far too ambitious. As much as I despise the lack of free time this break, it got me thinking about what free time actually is.

To me, free time is when I have absolutely nothing urgent to do and can thus spend my time with something that brings me joy, like a hobby. In reality, my free time is usually spent mindlessly scrolling through my phone, my fingers leading me to my social media accounts practically on their own. Why do we do this? Can we not relax with a puzzle or craft anymore? When did hobbies become so stressful that they feel like another check on my to-do list?

Even sitting down to write this latest installment felt like homework this week, rather than something I enjoy doing. I used to write for fun when I was a kid, but now, because of how frequently I do it for school, it has lost some of its spark. So why does all of this matter?

In my latest discovery that free time is a myth, I have come across the realization that I cannot control time, but rather how much I enjoy it. Sure, this break has been a list of dull tasks that have made me feel like I haven’t relaxed. But within each chore and errand, I have found to love the little things. 

When I drive to my various appointments or stores, I roll my windows down a little and play my music slightly louder than usual. The wind and song remind me of summer and improve my mood ever so slightly. When I get back from visiting hometown friends, I remind my exhausted self of the serotonin their laughs and jokes brought me. When I sit down each night, starting to feel drained and sorry for myself, I lay with my dog on the couch next to me and think about how happy I am to have a TV at home (shoutout to dorm rooms and watching things on my laptop screen). And when I start to feel hungry and take a break to eat, I secretly thank my parents for making me meals at home in place of the dining hall food. 

There is a lot to complain about in daily routines. Even over spring break, when we have much less academic stress than during the semester, things can seem overwhelming. But in the end, with every complaint I can think of, there are twice as many things to be thankful for. 

This break has taught me the importance of resets and completing those pesky checks on your to-do lists. As much as they seem like a bore and you wish you could just scroll through your phone instead, they’ll set you up for a much smoother semester and give you the confidence to finish the year strong.

I hope you all had a wonderful spring break and feel ready for the upcoming end of the school year.

Go say hi to the spring sunshine. I’ll see you next time.