I’m a junior now, and if you look through previous articles I’ve written, you’ll find that I am absolutely obsessed with my friends. You’ll also notice that these articles were written my sophomore year of college, and they include lessons about friendship that I did not know my first year at Pitt. 

My first year was lonely at times. By the end of the spring semester, I had let my mental health get the best of me and isolated myself from the few friends on campus I had at the time. Despite that unfortunate return to old habits, that first year was still the best of my life. Quite a few of the friends I made then have become the ones I write about, text daily with the most miniscule details of my day and — like a desperate ex — scroll through pictures of when we’re apart. 

My first friend at Pitt was my roommate. Both introverts with short-lived social batteries, we trauma bonded during O-week and have been inseparable since. We connected through the Pitt 2027 Instagram page. I met other people who chose their roommate this way, but the person they got to know through DMs was not a true representation of who they got to know the rest of the year.

I know people — like myself — whose first-year roommate remains the person they call their closest friend. Others remain friends but no longer live together, and some people would prefer to avoid running into their first-year roommate on campus at all costs. In truth, getting along with and being friends with your roommate should not be taken for granted, but you don’t need to be friends with your roommate to live with them or have a good first year. Whatever case you encounter, always respect the people you live with, and if things get too rough, make sure to reach out to your RA.

My roommate and I went through a few friendships before finding our solid group. In case you have not heard this yet, let me enlighten you — your first-year friend group will likely not be the friends you have for the rest of college. When you come to college, everyone is desperate to make friends and form connections. This is helpful for meeting new people, but I’ve found that the desire to simply have people to call your friends may lead you to overlook red flags or how little you have in common with those people. 

I say this only to advise you not to lose hope if or when this friend group falls out. Pitt has around 25,000 full-time undergraduate students on its campus. You’ll have many chances to meet your people. It is simply a rite of passage. Don’t let this tradition lead you to disregard or treat these friends as less. You should cherish the memories you make with them. Some of them may become lifelong friends, but don’t beat yourself up when you leave some behind.

The big question remains — how do you go about finding these friends? My first friends came from orientation events. By some odd chance, I ended up sitting next to girls who were roommates at two separate events, and now I spend late nights in Hillman and go out on the weekends with them. They remain roommates, and I spent July exploring London with them during study abroad. 

I exchanged Snapchats with these girls, one of which was the same major as me. Then, my roommate and I met them for dinner at Viva Los Tacos — known across campus as Viva — during O-week to get to know each other better. After that, I did not see them frequently outside of classes.

My friendship with the girl with the same major as me was ultimately solidified by the classes we had together our first year. Classes are a great way to make friends, but you have to be willing to put yourself out there. Talk to the person that sits next you in lectures. You’ll learn to go through a list of questions with everyone you meet in college — What’s your name? What year are you? Where are you from? What’s your major?

And if they’re a first-year student, ask where they live?

If they have the same major or minor, then find out what classes they’re taking. Maybe you have one together and can plan to sit next to each other, and later meet up to study — and struggle together — at the library. You’ll likely continue to see these people in classes throughout your years at Pitt, and it will be reassuring to have a familiar face to sit next to. 

Outside of classes, I met the majority of the people I call my friends — one I call my roommate and one I call my boyfriend — through these girls I met during O-week. This leads me to recommend being open to meeting friends of friends, your friend’s boyfriend’s friends, your roommate’s friends and any people in between. Take advantage of any and all opportunities to meet people. 

My first-year roommate, who I still live with, and the girl she met in a creative writing class, who happened to live on the floor above us our first year, are my closest friends. Our girls’ nights almost every weekend are the highlight of my college experience, and we got to know each other our first year by having dinner together in the Perch once a week. 

Now, it’s OK if you do not get along with the people your friends are friends with. It is by no means a requirement to remain friends with someone. Just make sure you give everyone a chance.

The final method for making friends I will provide is getting to know people on your floor if you are living on campus. All of my boyfriend’s roommates, seniors now, lived on the same floor their first year, and the majority of their friends did too. Your RA will have events to meet your floormates throughout the year. You can also leave your door open or go around knocking to meet neighbors. 

Many people from my first-year dorm floor remain close friends with each other. On the other hand, my roommate and I  — the hermits we were — are not in contact with them anymore, which is perfectly fine too.

The best advice I can give you at the end of the day is to meet as many people as you can your first year. Talk to people you think are cool. Trust me — everyone is just as afraid to put themselves out there as you are. As a follow-up to this advice, I will also say — don’t expect to become or remain friends with everyone you meet. If friendships fail, give yourself grace. There are plenty of Panthers in the Pitt. 

Juli is a big sister who loves giving advice. Email her at [email protected] with any questions about college friendships, The Pitt News, or college in general.