If at first you don’t succeed…

By NICK LUCCA

Jean Van de Velde is often remembered for one thing – arguably the worst collapse in golf… Jean Van de Velde is often remembered for one thing – arguably the worst collapse in golf history. The Frenchman played poorly down the stretch of the British Open, and cost himself a chance to win the major.

Back in 1999, Van de Velde needed only a 6 on the par-4 18th hole in Scotland to take home the Claret Jug. However, after a series of terrible shots – including one that hit the bleachers – caused him to shoot a seven, he fell into a tie and lost the tournament in a playoff.

He now appears to be trying a publicity stunt with the hopes that people might remember him for something different – defeating the women at their own game.

Last week, Van de Velde announced that he would attempt to qualify for next year’s Women’s British Open in retaliation to the fact that women may soon be allowed to enter the Men’s British Open.

He seems to think that because women are allowed to play in certain events, men should be allowed to play in certain LPGA events. However, there is a definite line drawn between the two institutions.

The first and most obvious one is the fact that the PGA tour is not called the Male PGA tour, unlike the obvious fact the LPGA tour is just that – the Ladies’ Professional Golf Association. There is no clear and obvious distinction that says that a woman may not play in PGA tour events. This is why Annika Sorrenstam was permitted to play in the Colonial last year.

The LPGA tour is strictly for women; they even established a gender policy this year so they could keep attention-hungry golfers like Van de Velde away from their links.

Also, if men are all of a sudden permitted to join the women’s tour, where exactly would this leave women’s golf? Every golfer who was having a tough time winning tournaments, and thus a tough time making money, would join the LPGA tour in hopes that one big win would equal a big payday.

If all goes according to plan for the male golfers, the women would never win a tournament. The LPGA tour would turn into a second-rate PGA tour, almost a minor league system for the golfers who can qualify, but who can’t win on their own tour.

All of this assumes that the men would beat the women in the first place. Who knows if Van de Velde could even do that?

Currently, the only reason anyone knows about him is because of his historic collapse. He may soon become remembered for being the Bobby Riggs of this generation.

Similar to Riggs, Van de Velde is an arrogant, angry athlete who’s mad that he has not done anything worthwhile in his sport in years. While golf has become more and more popular to watch – with names such as Woods, Mickelson and Els becoming household names – Van de Velde is barely known by anyone.

However, if Van de Velde is really interested in playing on the women’s tour, maybe he should try it. Women’s golf is hardly the highest-rated sport in the country, and maybe a kilt-wearing, freshly shaven Frenchman trying to compete with the women, all while making a fool of himself, will actually draw some ratings.

Win or lose, he will once again be the laughingstock of the golf world, and will most likely go into hibernation for another six years, only to re-emerge when another publicity opportunity arises.

Nick Lucca is the layout editor for The Pitt News. E-mail him at [email protected].