A convicted rapist, a convicted murderer and a convicted pot smoker walk into a bar. They… A convicted rapist, a convicted murderer and a convicted pot smoker walk into a bar. They are talking about straightening up and flying right, after having served their respective sentences. The rapist asks the bartender, Uncle Sam, for some help paying for college, and gets it. The murderer orders up some financial aid, gets it, and drinks it down. The pot smoker tries to order the same thing, and Uncle Sam laughs in his face.

“You, son, are a criminal! Never mind that you’ve done your time and paid your debt, or that I just served this murderer and this rapist,” he says. “A vaguely-worded 1998 federal provision mandates that I can’t give you any money to go to school.”

Sound ridiculous?

It is, and it’s happening every day in the United States.

The law, written by Rep. Mark Souder, R-Ind., was intended to discourage experimentation with drugs in college. But Souder says that Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush have mangled his intentions, costing Americans the chance to rebuild their lives — maybe so well that they could go on to become powerful world leaders.

The law discourages people who have had substance abuse problems in the past from trying to clean up their lives and become productive members of society. In today’s increasingly competitive job market, it’s harder to do that without a college degree.

In his State of the Union address, Bush said, “When the gates of prison open, the path ahead should lead to a better life.” This provision is utterly contrary to that notion, at least in the case of those convicted of drug offenses — as opposed to more violent crimes.

The law allows students to become eligible for financial aid again if they complete drug treatment. A full course of inpatient drug rehab, though, can be as expensive as tuition, if not more so. This concession is in the right frame of mind, but is unrealistic.

Some members of Congress want to rewrite the law so that it is more specific and less punitive. They want to allow students with previous convictions to be eligible for aid, but those convicted of drug offenses while in college would have aid stripped for at least a year.

But in a situation where murderers and rapists who’ve served their time are eligible for federal financial aid, denying drug offenders the same chance to turn their lives around sounds like a bad joke.