Reading Between the Lines

Many avant-garde authors dream of… Reading Between the Lines

Many avant-garde authors dream of writing a novel comprised partly of blank pages, but only a blind woman whose pen ran out of ink had the audacity (or misfortune) to produce it. Thankfully, forensic specialists at the local police station managed to decipher the lost text — but thus far, no one’s contacted them about starring in the next “DaVinci Code” film installment.

Apple’s New User Agreement

Apple fans are sometimes characterized as cultish or obsessive, but even the most devoted Mac users rarely sell their kidneys for iPhones and iPads. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what a 17-year-old Chinese boy did, according to the Associated Press (the people who arranged his surgery were recently indicted). And as if that weren’t enough, sources report that the service plan cost him “an arm and a leg.”

Mafia Wars

Apparently, running from the cops isn’t as stressful as films make it seem. Take the case of Travis Nicolaysen, an alleged criminal whose evasions of the law haven’t kept him from updating his Facebook page. (In response to a friend’s warning that police were “all over” him, Nicolaysen responded, “ya got away thanks bro.”). Although he sounds like a true renegade, we don’t think catching him will prove exceptionally difficult: Someone simply needs to convince him to install Facebook’s “Locate Me” application.

The Vietnam Invasion

Although Wyoming usually doesn’t attract many high-profile spenders, two anonymous Vietnamese men recently purchased an entire town near Cheyenne for $900,000. Unfortunately for them, the town harbors only one resident, according to CNN; there’s no word yet as to what will happen to the other half of the state’s population.

Derailed

British ambulance crews probably felt a bit childish this Sunday when they rushed to what they thought was a major locomotive accident, only to discover that their emergency call handlers had confused “military trains” with “miniature trains,” according to the Telegraph. Although even false alarms demand a swift response, Oxford students should be grateful their campus hasn’t received any recent bomb threats.