In honor of this week’s edition being the beer and wine edition, The Pitt News Editorial Board deemed it necessary to declare which cocktail embodies each desk. The editorial board has carefully deliberated options, considering the role, content and vibes of each desk and comparing these aspects with the taste, ingredients and feel of the selected cocktails. 

News 

Any news desk is a classic, but here at The Pitt News, the desk has a twist — hence the dirty aspect of the martini. Crafted with dry gin, vermouth and a healthy dose of olive brine, the dirty martini is a go-to and an innovative take on a regular martini. Likewise, the news desk is always crafting creative pitches on current events in Pittsburgh and setting a standard for news reporting while doing so. Reading the news section makes one feel informed and confident — not unlike how one feels ordering their second dirty martini of the night at a bar with their friends. 

Opinions 

You know her, and you love her even more. Whether we’re discussing the cosmopolitan cocktail or the opinions desk, we may never know. A vibrant, citrus-forward drink, a cosmopolitan is the perfect order for a fun night out, and even the most determined of individuals can’t help but try it out when they see the cocktail’s exotic colors. Just like how the opinions desk composes columns with flair to keep audiences entertained, the cosmopolitan’s signature pink look keeps the people coming back for more. 

Culture  

There’s just something so relaxing about a piña colada. Maybe it’s the pineapple and cherry garnish, the curvy glass the drink comes in or even that one Rupert Holmes song associated with the beverage. The culture desk is similar in this sense, and it too packs a punch. A quick read through the desk’s section and readers instantly know the best music, pop culture stories and campus events to check out during any given week.  

Sports 

Just like how a Long Island iced tea has a shocking amount of liquor in it, readers can find a shocking amount of content produced by the sports desk. Columns go beyond simple game reviews, covering profiles, club sports teams and notable Pitt alumni. Even the most skeptical individuals can be pleasantly surprised by the cohesion of the ingredients in the Long Island iced tea, each one working in perfect harmony to mask the gin, vodka, rum and tequila. Similarly, the sports desk’s array of columns work to satisfy all readers, whether they are interested in the stories of student athletes, club sports putting in the work or even a classic post-game review. 

Visuals  

The margarita is the most popular cocktail within the U.S., rendering this drink the perfect embodiment of the visuals desk. When it comes to an event — a big game, a protest or a concert, everyone seems to want pictures. Further, every great story is accompanied by an image that works in tandem with the headline to draw readers in. Just like how a margarita is always readily available to thirsty customers, the visuals team is consistently prepared to capture incredible images at a moment’s notice.

Layout

A tropical and complex cocktail, the mai tai perfectly personifies the layout desk. While one may not initially see the connection between almond liquor and citrus flavors, those experienced in the world of mai tais understand that these combine in a way that works perfectly with the rum in the drink. Similarly, the layout desk understands exactly how to place which stories and images to make a pleasant viewing experience for readers, making connections that others might miss. 

Copy 

The Pitt News’s copy desk is clearly a strong, straightforward and intelligent cocktail — the negroni. With equal parts Campari, gin, vermouth and a fun orange garnish, the negroni is a cocktail for those who know exactly what they want. In the copy desk’s case, that’s an eradication of the oxford comma and the titles of movies and shows in quotes, not italics. Just like the cocktail is used to stimulate appetite, the copy desk is used to prepare a story for posting — a necessary step in the production process. 

Editor-in-Chief/Managing Editor

The EIC and ME are complete and utter classics, making the old fashioned the perfect embodiment of the positions. Featuring a balance of liquor and sweetness, the old fashioned cocktail has even been known as the original cocktail. Just like how the EIC and ME oversee all stories from each desk and provide endless leadership, the old fashioned is historically recognized as a trailblazer in the world of cocktails — one of the very first ever made. 

The Pitt News editorial is a weekly article written by the opinion editors in collaboration with other desk editors. It reflects the collective opinion of the current Pitt News editorial staff.