This week, the White House made several heavy edits of a written testimony by the director… This week, the White House made several heavy edits of a written testimony by the director of the Centers for Disease Control on the health risks posed by global warming.

The cuts, which were all part of the Office of Management and Budget’s normal editing process, included nonessential phrases describing climate change as posing “difficult challenges” and as “a serious health concern,” according to The New York Times.

While some physicians have claimed that the cuts were a misuse of the scientific and legislative process that watered down the potentially drastic effects that global warming could have on our nation’s public health, we commend our administration’s decision to censor that scientific nonsense and continue to spread the truth about global warming.

Because, seriously, what public health concerns could potentially arise from an increase in temperatures? Ninety-degree weather in October? Bring it on. We’re young. We’re not the ones who have to worry about overheating.

And we don’t know about anyone else, but we’re not really crazy about all these glaciers anyway. Fewer glaciers means more room for cruise ships and yachts and cool things like that.

“Scientists” predict that the coasts of Florida could lose 100-1,000 feet of beach-front real estate by 2100, which could supposedly have severe economic and ecological impact in the state. But, really, who needs Florida?

And really, what’s the big deal if Pennsylvania’s coasts recede a little bit. Heck, if the water makes it as far as Penn State, we’d be the completely dominant Pennsylvania university – if we weren’t already. Additionally, we’re not sure if you’ve ever thought about it this way, but increased temperatures + receding coastlines = beach time in Pittsburgh. Hell, yes.

We’re particularly relieved that global warming isn’t a serious health concern because we really don’t want to give up our SUVs. We know, we know, they contribute “carbon emissions,” or some scientific nonsense. But really, who cares? SUVs are cool. Priuses aren’t. What are we supposed to do?

When it comes down to it, there’s just no compelling evidence that global warming is real. The weather increases are just cyclical. And when will scientists start to admit that natural disasters aren’t the result of weather changes? They’re God’s way of punishing us. Hasn’t anyone heard of Noah’s Ark?

Just look at Hurricane Katrina. That was totally God’s doing. And the latest wildfires in California – we don’t think it takes a brain surgeon to see that that was God’s way of punishing Britney Spears for, well, being Britney Spears.

And on the totally minuscule chance that global warming could have some effect on our planet in the future, we can’t get past this one prevailing notion: Scientists predict that we won’t see the costliest effects of global climate change for decades, and we’ll be dead – or so old it won’t even matter -by then.

So it’s really not our problem – we guess, unless we want to have children or grandchildren and care the least bit for their livelihood. Or unless we want to care about the mass numbers of animal and plant species that could die as well.

But ultimately, the world isn’t going to end tomorrow, so why start living like it will?