Best way to confuse freshmen: Corner of Fifth and Forbes

Freshmen. They’re easy… Best way to confuse freshmen: Corner of Fifth and Forbes

Freshmen. They’re easy to spot and even easier to confuse. Next time you see one of them walking in circles, campus map in hand and looking as if they were caught in the headlights of an extra-long PAT bus, offer them this advice: “on the corner of Fifth and Forbes.” That poor, naive soul will be halfway to Monroeville before he realizes the truth: He should have been walking Downtown.

Runner-up: Wrong directions

—Sarah Bingler, Opinions Editor

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Best Pitt Tradition: Bonfire

Ah, yes, the bonfire.

The first 1,000 to show up receive a free T-shirt with some witty synonym of hot on the back and you listen to the head football coach and players describe what a thrill it is to play Pitt football.

Take this year for example. The bonfire before the Michigan State game ignited enthusiasm in all of us. Oh wait, what? There wasn’t a bonfire? And Pitt got beat by the Spartans? Ouch.

Somehow, the best Pitt tradition was cancelled from its earlier date this year. And I’m pretty sure it led directly to the loss against MSU.

Here’s to this tradition continuing on!

Runner-up: Oakland Zoo

—Alan Smodic, Sports Editor

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Best Fraternity: Zeta Beta Tau

Some people may not know about the winner of best fraternity; but to know them is to appreciate the work they’ve done in the community — one of the many greek organizations raising money for UPMC’s Cancer Research Institute.

How can anyone forget when they rolled a 5-foot inflatable ball — covered in company advertisements — around campus to help raise money for that effort?

At the time, they hard-raised more than $800 and they were going strong.

ZBT philanthropic chair Dan Kheloussi was enthusiastic about the success of the idea, and he was impressed with the response ZBT received from the community.

“Along with doing something really positive and giving back, it’s also been great to see how many other kids on campus care,” Kheloussi said to The Pitt News at the time.

“People get out their wallets and donate big bills. It’s really, really amazing to see how people care like that.”

ZBT helped to keep the ball rolling on charitable giving, and we’re sure that they are working hard while you’re reading this article.

Runners-Up: Sigma Chi; Delta Tau Delta

—Andy Medici, News Editor

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Best Sorority: Delta Phi Epsilon

Delta Phi Epsilon is always up to something. That something is always about trying to make the student community a better place.

Just recently they organized, sponsored and hosted a fashion show to help raise awareness of eating disorders. Their members and others walked the runway in clothes that ranged from the everyday to the once-in-a-lifetime.

The sorority’s event was multi-faceted, as one of them told The Pitt News in an article on Nov. 9, 2006 by Angela Hayes.

Nicole Calderon, a Delta Phi Epsilon member who thought of the event and helped coordinate it, said that her sorority hoped to raise money for its cause, but also to promote positive body images to students on campus.

“Ironically, it has been a big issue in the fashion industry,” she said. “They are more aware and realize that it is not healthy.”

We hope that Delta Phi Epsilon will continue their good work and charitable giving well into the future.

Runner-up: Theta Phi Alpha

—Andy Medici, News Editor

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Best Free Thing Pitt Offers: T-shirts

It turns out that Pitt doesn’t want its students to be naked, at least from the waist up. By simply showing up to certain University-sponsored events, you can get yourself a free T-shirt and put off doing laundry for another day without spending a dime (or $5 in quarters). Nothing says “I love Pitt” or “I’m too broke to go shopping” like wearing an extra-large T-shirt celebrating $1 billion or commemorating a bonfire you may or may not have participated in.

Runner-up: Access to PAT buses

—Anna Kissell, Copy Chief

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Best Reason to Skip Class: Sleep

College would be great if it wasn’t for your classes. And it would be even better if your roommate wasn’t constantly complaining that the only thing your alarm does is wake him up. It seems to have no effect on you at all.

It’s not your fault that you’ve hit the snooze alarm a record nine times in a row. After all, it’s hard to wake up after spending all night watching reruns of “Three’s Company.” Come and knock on our door indeed.

Besides, how much would it hurt to just sleep for a few more minutes? You would just fall asleep in your class anyways. Consider it your first experience in telecommuting.

Runner-up: Food

—Andy Medici, News Editor

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Best Bus Route: 59U

Students can’t afford cars, and you’ve already paid to ride the buses with your tuition. So when you go to the Waterfront, you better take the 59U.

The only bus that will drop you off and pick you up directly in front of Loews Movie Theater or Giant Eagle at the Waterfront, this route has kept many students up-to-date on the latest blockbusters and stocked up on Ramen noodles.

The true 59U rider knows to look up the bus schedule before leaving because looking for one of these at a bus stop is like searching for water in the desert.

She also knows that the earlier you get on the better. If you get on after the corner of Fifth Avenue and Bigelow Boulevard, forget about getting a seat — you will be lucky to have a canvas strap to cling to as the bus barrels through Squirrel Hill.

Runner-up: 10A

—Tim Stienstraw, Assistant News Editor

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Best Pitt Scandal: The Order of 87

Rumor, intrigue, high-profile players — last fall’s Order of 87 debacle had all the trappings of a Watergate-esque scandal. It all started with an anonymous tip about a new secret society on campus who took its name from the historic year of Pitt’s founding, 1787. As The Pitt News peeled the onion, things only got stinkier. The affair quickly implicated important students from influential groups. In true Deepthroat style, The Pitt News traced things back to the highest-elected office in the land, the president of SGB. After a bit of clever, late-night counter-intelligence, The Pitt News burst into a covert meeting deep inside Posvar Hall. Photographs of what was explained by those in attendance as either a “dance marathon meeting” or a “campaign meeting” showed the student elites looking puzzled and attempting to hide their faces. Later in the year, a former SGB president admitted the existence of the Order of 87 to The Pitt News, but since then things have been quiet. It would appear that the mysterious group has dissolved. Or has it?

Runner-up: Druids

—D. Clark Denison, Senior Staff Writer

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Best Campus Job: Telefund

Not to be confused with Telefact, Telefund takes the cake for best campus job. With a sweet, climate-controlled atmosphere and great people, there’s no better way to rake in the dough.

And, oh yeah, they do that thing with the upside-down ads on purpose.

Runner-up: Mail room

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Best Way To Pay for Tuition: Parents

“Hey mom, listen, I promise once I graduate school I’ll pay you back.”

“Son, you’re a journalism major.”

“OK, well, I’ll never pay you back, but think of how great it will be to see me graduate!”

Seriously, who better to pay for anything in your life than your parents? I mean, it is their job to take care of you.

And at this time in your life, you have no bigger financial burden than your increasing tuition at Pitt. Your parents have the money, and you don’t — so it only seems fitting they pay for it.

Anyway, if they didn’t want to pay for college, they should have never forced you to go.

Runner-up: Loans

—Alan Smodic, Sports Editor

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Best Reason to Call Telefact: Bus Times

South Side Works. Robinson Mall. Atwood Street.

People need shuttles and buses for lots of occasions. You might want to catch a movie at the Waterfront, or you might just be too lazy to walk a few blocks to your friend’s South Oakland apartment.

Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve visited the William Pitt Union (where you can pick up a bus/shuttle schedule). The point is, Telefact can answer many questions, but when it comes down to it, they’re bus-time experts.

Runners-up: Movie times, lost and scared (tie)

—Sarah Kaufman, Assistant Copy Chief

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Best Thing to do On a Friday night: Drink

This was a hard one, folks. I mean, how does one easily choose between two completely different activities to occupy a Friday night with? Drink or party. Wow. The decisions young adults have to make these days are monumentally difficult. Still, the readers of The Pitt News did it again, proving their prowess as socially savvy co-eds. The boozing elite of Oakland has spoken: Partying is so last year.

Runner-up: Party

—Sarah Bingler, Opinions Editor