Best Neighborhood Bar Crawl: South Side

Doing the South Side bar crawl is like… Best Neighborhood Bar Crawl: South Side

Doing the South Side bar crawl is like connecting the dots, but you lose the ability to draw straight lines somewhere in the middle.

The South Side is made for drinking. The concept is simple enough for even the most plastered people to understand: The bars are in a row and you walk from one to the next.

Taking your age in shots at one bar is nowhere near as exciting as taking them in a string of different bars, and that is what the South Side offers.

I would call it eternal glory, but chances are you and everyone you know will be too drunk to remember it the next day.

Runner-up: Oakland

—Tim Stienstraw, Assistant News Editor

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Best Dance Club: Matrix

If you and your boys or girls are getting dressed up and going all the way to Station Square, don’t go to one night club. Go to four.

Matrix has really cheap drinks to make sure that everyone is drunk enough to shamelessly dance. With four different rooms that span four different music genres and atmospheres, Matrix is like a big playground for the drunk and scantily dressed.

While your friends are shaking their money makers to Ludacris in the hip-hop room, you can be getting nasty to Janet Jackson in the ’80s room. There is room to chill out and sip a Corona in the Latin room or grab your glow sticks and get wild in the techno room.

Runners-up: Tequila Willies, Pegasus (tied)

—Tim Stienstraw, Assistant News Editor

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Best Beer Distributor: Mellinger’s

Mellinger’s has the distinction of being South Oakland’s only beer distributor, and now it can boast being Oakland’s favorite. Located toward the end of Semple Street, students can pick up cases from cheap Lionshead to imported, expensive microbrews. Its selection can cater to any student willing to spend a little extra cash on better-quality beer. Mellinger’s is a fine beer-selling establishment.

Runner-up: Craig Distributing

—Jared Trent Stonesifer, Assistant News Editor

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Best GLBT Bar: Pegasus

One-upping its winged, equine namesake with sheer fabulousness, Pegasus sits in the heart of our fair city, its arms outstretched to curious yinzers eager to dance away their Friday and Saturday nights. While it’s technically a “gay” bar, Pegasus attracts fun seekers — usually ranging from tipsy to “Oh my god, seriously, you guys are like the best friends ever” — of all genders and sexualities. Upon entering its glorious, basement-like interior, those 21 and older are ushered toward the bar section — a dimly lit, fenced-in corridor that simply shrieks “VIP” — and the underagers are directed toward the dance floor. And that’s where the fun begins. Beat-heavy selections of dance, house, pop and disco catalyze many a heated grinding session, while the sweet smell of A’F “Fierce” cologne diffuses in the midnight air. Friday nights usually entail a drag show, where audience members experience the epitome of attitude, sass and ambiguity. So if you’re wondering where the real party is on weekends, or if the dive bars of Oakland have left you too “Brokeback” to bust a move, then mosey on down to Pegasus.

Runner-up: 5801

—Derek Reighard, Assistant A’E Editor

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Best Place for Karaoke: Spice Cafe

Every student knows the benefit of the peer review system, so what better place to experience that than at Spice Cafe for some karaoke? Located at 328 Atwood St., it is quite common to walk in at 10:30 p.m. on a Thursday — when the once-a-week karaoke begins — to hear a stirring rendition of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” or the Beatles’ ever-popular song “Obladi Oblada” while a wave of crowd enthusiasm washes over you.

The drinks are cheap and the live entertainment is free — since that live entertainment is you and your friends. So don’t be afraid, grab a mic and a friend and tell us exactly why you want us to drop it like it’s hot, or sing a song about your humps.

The list at Spice is quite extensive and ranges from some golden oldies to today’s hits. It has everything from “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” to “Promiscuous Girl,” so make sure to choose wisely — there are different versions of each song to choose from.

Whatever your choice happens to be, the readers’ choice for best karaoke has been decided…so spare us the song and dance — unless you’re on stage.

Runner up: Bootleggers

—Andy Medici, News Editor

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Best Street to Party On: Atwood

The votes confirm what any Friday night observer already knows — Atwood is the place to be. Just wander down Atwood with your red cup in hand and walk into one of the crowded house parties like you’ve been there forever and let the booze flow. No matter what level of intoxication you’re looking to obtain, you can find it during an Atwood weekend. The best part — when the party finally ends, Antoon’s famous $5 pizzas are only a stumble away.

Runner-up: Semple

—Henry Bingaman, Columnist

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Best Cheap Beer: Natural Light

This one comes as no surprise. The lifeblood of most college students has been chosen as the best cheap beer, the tried and true Natural Light. Affectionately known simply as Natty, this water-like beer has been a longtime favorite of students looking to get the most drunk for their buck. So next time you crack open a cold Natty, remember that you’re drinking the King of Cheap!

Runner-up: Miller Lite

—Jared Stonesifer, Assistant News Editor

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Best Good Beer: Yuengling

After taking a one-year hiatus, Pottsville’s finest is back on top. When you want to drink classy and have a beer that doesn’t contain words like ice, best or natural, head down to the distributor and pay a few extra dollars for a case of Yuengling — your stomach will thank you when you don’t have to cringe when swallowing. Corona was a close second, for those who don’t mind spending $50 at the bar.

Runner-up: Corona

—Pat Mitsch, Assistant Sports Editor

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Drink Special: Spice Cafe

Have you been tempted by Wendy’s and McDonald’s commercials that tout how much food you can get for a dollar? Well nuts to that, spend your money where you can get the most out of it — alcohol.

At Spice Cafe, any thirsty traveler can score a Bud Light draft any time of any day. Each individual day has its own special draft that goes for a single picture of George Washington.

And don’t for one second believe that drinking is a weekend activity. Come in on Monday and picture yourself in a Western film as you down dollar whiskey shots. Stay classy with Wednesday’s $3 martinis and get bombed with bombs on Thursdays for only $3 a shot.

Now don’t let the name fool you. The late-night happy hour actually lasts for two — from 10 p.m. to midnight — and that means $1 off all drafts. Domestics become $1 and micros/imports become $3. But if you don’t like beer (gasp!) there is always the $4 frozen Long Island iced tea that you can get at the same time.

But when the weekend comes, you know that there are drink specials brewing at Spice. Friday gives students the opportunity for $2 Jagermeister shots; Saturday $1 well drinks and relax Sundays with $2 Southern Comfort shots.

Remember, there is no place to get liquor quicker, or beer of such cheer, than at the nice Spice Cafe.

Runner-up: Hemingway’s

—Andy Medici, News Editor

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Best Happy Hour: Mad Mex

So, you say that is almost seven shots … in one $6 drink?

That’s right. With cheap food, like wings, burritos and massive drinks with almost obscene amounts of liquor, Mad Mex has a happy hour that makes you wish it were longer than 60 minutes.

You could get a bunch of dollar beers somewhere else, but downing one Big Azz Margarita is much more time efficient.

After all, you probably have a test tomorrow that you need to study for later.

Runner-up: Hemingway’s

—Tim Stienstraw, Assistant News Editor

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Best Beer Selection: Fuel ‘ Fuddle

If heaven doesn’t have Young’s Double Chocolate Stout, I’ll spend my eternity in Fuel ‘ Fuddle. Whether you like your beer completely transparent or as thick as used motor oil, Fuel ‘ Fuddle has the brew for you. True beer fanatics join JC’s 100 Beers Cult and receive a Beer Bible. The first commandment instructs initiates that “Thou shalt drinketh one of each beer,” and Fuel ‘ Fuddle can more than provide for its followers. After sampling everything from Stella Artois to Rogue Shakespeare Stout, successful cult members are commemorated with a plaque near the bar. Because if anything in life should be awarded, it’s the appreciation of good beer.

Runner-up: Hemingway’s

—Kristen DiLemmo, A’E Editor

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Best Bar: Hemingway’s

If you have the ID to get past the bouncer, fondly known as “D,” you will be welcomed into the open arms of dollar drafts and a rowdy good time. Freshmen spend their first year of college living directly above this famous watering hole and dreaming of the day they can finally enter. Warning: Your fake ID will probably not get you past the near psychic abilities of D — so don’t bother trying.

Hem’s boasts some of the hottest bar tenders and best drink specials in Oakland. It’s always a treat to be served a cold Blue Moon by Lynn on an otherwise boring Wednesday night, and only be charged a dollar — plus your generous tip of course. But the best part of this incredible bar is that no matter where you live in Oakland, it’s close enough to walk to.

Runner-up: Boomerang’s

—Henry Bingaman, Columnist