PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Thousands of students and their families flocked to www.pittnews.com in… PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Thousands of students and their families flocked to www.pittnews.com in recent weeks to get in on a contest that can only be described as earth-shattering.

The Pitt News, Pitt’s independent student newspaper for the last century, announced this summer that it will buy a semester’s worth of textbooks for one student signed up for daily e-mail updates.

When asked how she could justify the seemingly insane “money for nothing” policy, Pitt News Editor in Chief Jessica Lear responded:

“Well, it’s not really money for nothing, since every person who signs up gets a free, daily e-mail update on everything that happens at Pitt — and they get a chance to win free books. It’s more like two things for nothing.”

Parents, too, have been flooding The Pitt News’ Web site in order to win books for their children and keep tabs on the school that their children attend.

“I’m shocked by this amazing offer,” said Lennie Green, Lear’s mom.

“I can find out what’s going on in my daughter’s life every day, even when she doesn’t call.”

Green said that she looks forward to reading about all the events at Pitt and harassing her daughter for details.

“And if her name shows up in the police blotter,” she added, “I’ll know right away.”

While no end to the madness is in sight, Lear confirmed that she will keep the offer open until August 31, 2005, regardless of how many people enter.

“At The Pitt News, we’re all students,” she said. “We know what it’s like to look through your couch cushions for pizza money.”

Lear would not comment on her mother’s reaction, but did say that she has no plans to appear in the police blotter this year.