Summertime is drawing near. The birds are singing, the AC is blasting, and flip flops are… Summertime is drawing near. The birds are singing, the AC is blasting, and flip flops are flopping.

But just because the weather deems it OK to wear open-toe shoes, that doesn’t give anyone carte blanche not to follow proper flip-flop protocol. I know it’s almost summertime and everyone slips into lazy vacation mode, but that’s no excuse to have chipped nail polish and a hairy big toe.

Therefore, to aid you in achieving your optimum look, I’ve browsed through my repertoire of fashion etiquette and can now offer you some quick tips on flip-flop protocol.

First and foremost, it’s important to fully understand the condition of your feet. Are they beautiful, are they fairly nice on a good day or are they too ugly to even consider wearing sandals? Once you get a sense of the condition of your toes, decide what type of open-toe shoe is best for you. Are you too shy to have your toes shown at all or are you open to wearing any sandal as long as you have a strap across the top to hide your calluses?

Be honest with yourself. If you have corns, calluses and bunions, embrace them. Just understand that it may be a tad harder for the sandals to make your feet look good. When it comes to open-toe shoes, know your limit and be truthful. Living in corn denial is not to be applauded.

So, maybe you’ve decided that your toes aren’t the sexiest, but you figure, “Heck, it’s going to be a scorching summer and I have nothing to lose except getting occasional uncomfortable stares and a potential mate.” Great. But, just remember that if you opt to accessorize your feet, make sure the jewelry fits properly. There is nothing worse than seeing a swollen toe because of an extremely tight toe ring. Not only does it resemble a hot dog, but it simply isn’t cute.

The same applies for anklets: If you’re going to wear them, make sure they fit loosely. What’s the point in wearing a tight anklet that gives the appearance of an extra ankle?

On the other hand, maybe you’re the person who hasn’t received a pedicure since last summer; however, you’re creative and you can muster up the courage to create homemade nail designs. Congratulations. Just be sure when you’re giving a self-pedicure that you exfoliate ALL of the rough skin on each foot. For if you don’t properly sand down the dead and ancient skin, your feet can turn yellow and hard, leaving them in deplorable condition. And that’s not to mention the roughness you’ll feel as you rub them against your bed sheets. You know what I’m talking about — don’t act surprised.

Since we’re on the idea of being creative and practicing regular upkeep of your feet, it’s crucial that you don’t get carried away and become “too creative.” We’ve all seen those girls with the shoddy handmade designs. Who wants to see ugly polka dots and hideous stripes on your toes? Please refrain from the suns, rainbows and hearts — this isn’t fifth grade.

Finally, if you learn nothing else, make sure your flip-flops flop. No one enjoys walking down the street next to someone who’s too lazy to pick up her feet. Flip-flops are made to rise with your feet while you walk, not to slide and glide along the cement making an unmentionable noise.

So the moral of the story is: Be kind to your feet and they will be kind to you. And most importantly, don’t drag your feet — it’s tacky and I assure you that you won’t reach your destination any faster. Besides, you’ll get more stares while dragging your feet than you will with a glistening corn and a broken, duct-taped strap. Think about it.

Deena loves to get pedicures. If you would like to join her on her next excursion to the nail salon and chat about cheap Old Navy flip-flops, contact her at [email protected].