What were you thinking?
November 10, 2004
Editor’s Note: The “What Were You Thinking” list is a compilation of some of the strangest and… Editor’s Note: The “What Were You Thinking” list is a compilation of some of the strangest and most amusing entries we got in Best Of polling. Things that made the list were based entirely on our sense of humor (not some fault of the intended entry), and usually got our attention through one of the following ways:
a) terrible spelling
b) being right but not popular enough to win
c) making little or no sense
d) obviously coming from a personal experience we’d like to hear about
e)being written by a clearly insane or drunk person or
f) an attempt to be funny that failed. We hope you enjoy.
Place to escape to: Bar (2 votes), Friend’s roof on Oakland Ave. (1), OC Lot (1)
Place to study: Club Hillman (1)
Place to hook up: Back of the UV Loop (1), playground (1), Mt. Washington (1), eww you gross (1), bushes in front of Alumni Hall (1), grocery store (1)
Place to break up: Andy is a big piece of crap (1), church (1), in front of the O (1), Blockbuster (2), text message (1)
Place to take a walk: Grass (1), off a long pier Ha! Ha! (1)
Place to nap: The streets (1)
Place to smoke: Smoking is dumb (1), streets (1)
Residence Hall: Cathedral (1)
Place to get arrested: Own room (1), in class (1), Squirrel Hill Mellon Bank parking lot (1)
Street: Not Juliet (1)
Hotel for parents: The one in NYC (1), any cheap one (1) Nationality room: Carrabean (1)
Spring break destination: The islands (1), Punxsawtawny (1), Cancoon (1)
Place to study abroad: Cleveland (1)
Classroom: Anything with padded seats (1), any room not under construction (1), big ones (1)
Sports team: uhh…football sucks now…so…girls softball (1)
Way to confuse freshmen: Break them into groups smaller than 20 (1), tell them you love them (1), touch ’em (1), Say CMU is cool (3)
Tradition: Post-11 p.m. eating (1), sex in the Cathedral (1), hazing (1)
Fraternity: Tappa Kegga Beer (1)
Free thing Pitt offers: Condoms (2), birth control (2), Pitt offers something free? (1)
Reason to skip class: Why not? (1), Raining (3), roasting marshmallows (1), afternoon lovemaking (1), who in pants while drunk (1)
Pitt scandal: Papers due after spring break (1)
On-campus job: Scotty (2), sperm bank (1), [insert local restaurant not on campus] (9)
Reason to call Telefact: Drunk (3)
Pay tuition: Rob a bank (1)
Thing to do on a Friday night: My boyfriend (1), keg stand (1)
Secret organization: I can’t tell you (3), Sedexo (1)
Italian food: New chopsticks (1)
Mexican food: Pizza (1)
Chinese food: Rice (1)
Food to cook in dorm: George Foreman (1)
Vending truck: Pepsi (2)
Meal under $5: Gumball (1)
Ice cream: Mint chocolate chip (1)
Bagel: There is only one bagel shop this is a rip off (1)
Juice: The ol gin ‘ juice bay baaaaay (1)
Place to buy CDs: On street from random guys (1)
Hair salon: A friend (1)
SGB member: Bill Clinton (1)
SGB member to complain about: Henry Clay (1), stupid people (1), all of them (1)
Sports star: High tops (1), Dodge Viper (1)
Pitt police officer: Robocop (1), All the ones who gave me citations (1)
WPTS DJ: DJ clue (1)
Oakland regular: My mom (1)
Dorm security guard: The guy who looks like the guy with the stapler from Office Space (1)
Beer selection: Natty Light (1)
Drink special: Long Island (1)
Good beer: Beast (1)
Place to wake up: Bus lane on Fifth Ave. (1), Cathedral Lawn (1), in front of Subway (1), in the arms of a hunk (1), A bush on Oakland Ave. (1), ex-boyfriends (1), jail (1)
Mascot: Kool aid guy (1)
Free entertainment: Towers Lobby 2-3 a.m. (1), Incline (1), Internet porn (1)
Strange thing in Oakland: Nordenberg’s raises (1), students (1), happy (1)
Local band: Christina Aguilera (1)
Neighborhood: The Rocks! (1)
Live theater: Byam (1)
Bank: Pittsburgh cryobank (1)