Best class: History

Maybe it’s genuine curiosity to know about the past. Maybe it’s… Best class: History

Maybe it’s genuine curiosity to know about the past. Maybe it’s a couple of great professors. Maybe it’s just a good way to impress people. Whatever the reason, history is unanimously the best class at Pitt. And with the department offering a diverse assortment of classes, a talented faculty and an international reputation (according to the department’s Web site), it’s a darn good place to study it.

Whether sitting through a Western Civ survey lecture or an intimate senior seminar, studying history will make you smarter. You’ll learn how to sift through and understand old documents. Since you won’t get through a semester without a few papers and discussions, your writing will improve, as will your interpretive and rhetoric skills. You’ll learn that Mexicans didn’t always speak Spanish, and why you can’t go to Cuba. You’ll become an informed citizen!

Perhaps most importantly, though, you’ll amass yourself a boatload of facts with which to court potential lovemates at parties and social gatherings. After all, who could resist someone with a working knowledge of post-colonial western imperialism or the extent of Soviet elaboration on classic Marxist ideology?

– Jon Check, senior staff writer

Best class to sleep through: Biology

The room is huge. The seats are comfy. There are about a million other students. It occurs pretty early in the morning. They dim the lights to show slides. Why not sleep?

Actually, they don’t take attendance, so why even go?

Bio, beautiful Bio. Sweet class with only two exams a semester. Lull me to a dreamland filled with protist lollipops. Make the exams so difficult that the only realistic time for me to sleep is during class. Give me dark circles under my eyes twenty years before my time. Allow me to waste thousands of dollars on my dreams of becoming a doctor only to switch my major to journalism during the second semester of my junior year.

– Jessica Knab, staff writer

Best classroom: Clapp L9 and David Lawrence 121

Lean back, stretch your legs and let your eyelids droop in the vast darkness of the infamous, super-size auditoriums cum classrooms. If you forget your glasses one day, don’t fret – unless you are one of the head-of-the-class-brigade, you probably wouldn’t be able to make out the overhead lecture notes anyway. As far as retaining the information from the lecture, if your teacher’s microphone is working, so much the better. If not, you’d better hope your professor posts their class notes online. So just relax, rest your eyes in the dim light and let the soothing voice of your professor rock you into academic nirvana. This Zen-like classroom state-of-mind may only be achieved in the ocean-sized classrooms of Clapp L9 and David Lawrence 121, in which a student can’t avoid the “I’m just a number” mentality – just embrace it.

– Christian Schoening, Managing Editor

Best student organization: Student Government Board

They give students a voice, they encourage student involvement, they plan various on-campus events – giving students a reason to skip class if they didn’t already have one – and they give students a chance to buy one or several of them for a night out on the town during the date auction. Who are they? The members of Student Government Board. With tuition hikes, new facilities being built, fund-raising events and other crazy happenings at Pitt, it is the student group putting their hearts and souls into the university. After all, SGB does plan one of Pitt’s biggest events, Homecoming. It’s the return of many alumni and the reunion of some students with their families. From an afternoon complete with banner and spirit competitions to the annual fireworks and laser show on Bigelow Boulevard.

– Christine Claus, staff writer

Best sports team: men’s basketball

For the second year in a row, the men’s basketball team brought home the Big East West Division title and advanced to the round of 16 in the NCAA Tournament.

And for the second year in a row, the hoopsters were voted the best Pitt sports team.

Led by Julius Page’s 12.2 points per game, Brandin Knight’s leadership and a strong inside presence, the Panthers finished the year 28-5, battled through the nation’s toughest conference with a 13-3 record and won the Big East Tournament for the first time in school history.

In Jamie Dixon’s first year as head coach, the team enters the season ranked No. 22 and opens the campaign on the biggest of stages – Nov. 15 at Madison Square Garden against Alabama in the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic.

Despite losing Knight, Donatas Zavackas and Ontario Lett to graduation, Pitt returns a solid lineup of veterans – including Page, Jaron Brown, Carl Krauser and Chevon Troutman – to go along with freshmen Levon Kendall, Chris Taft and Antonio Graves.

– Joe Marchilena, Contributing Editor

Best way to confuse a freshman: Bad Directions

Well, the Pete, you see, it’s easy to get to. First you go to the corner of Fifth and Forbes, then you make a left onto Cathedral of Learning Road. Hang a right down the hill to the Hot Metal Bridge, and then look for Nordenberg Lane. You can’t miss it.

Heh, heh, heh.

It would be one thing if Pittsburgh weren’t already so damn confusing. It would be another if even Pittsburgh natives could understand the labyrinthine system of roads that makes up Oakland’s thoroughfares. And it would be still another if all the buildings and roads were clearly marked.

But no, freshmen, the fates have conspired against you.

If it makes you feel better, it’s very likely that the person giving you fake directions to Frazier Street probably received equally misleading guidance just a few short years ago. And, just think, soon you’ll be able to send lost newbies wandering off to parts of the city that don’t really exist.

And just wait until you have to do it backwards, in the dark, and without all of your faculties.

– Greg Heller-LaBelle, Editor in Chief

Best Pitt tradition: Penn State Sucks

My heart swelled with pride when I saw this year’s best Pitt tradition. Honestly, I didn’t expect anyone to remember it.

You see, shortly before I arrived on campus, Pitt put an end to our chants of hatred for a team we won’t play for many years. Apparently, the administration wasn’t a big fan of tens of thousands of voices clamoring for a rival their football team wasn’t playing.

They thought it was disrespectful or something.

But we know better.

Hating Penn State isn’t just a tradition; it’s a way of life here. It’s part of what makes us Pitt, whether or not their terrible football team is scheduled to lose to us in any given year.

It’s amazing and wonderful that, in a school where so many traditions have died away – a moment of silent rage for Pitt script, here – we can still embrace a rivalry that most of the students here will never see on the field during their enrollment.

So rise, upperclassmen, educate the young’uns about the glory of their forebears! Teach them the war cry of those who came before, so that no uptight administrator will ever silence our vow of contempt.

And, for those of you who haven’t been bathed in the blood of Pitt’s holy rivalry, listen and learn. No matter the time, no matter the sport, no matter the opponent, there is only one thing to remember:

Penn State sucks, Penn State sucks, P-E-N-N-S-T sucks!

– Greg Heller-LaBelle, Editor in Chief

Best fraternity: Phi Kappa Theta

Most known for their annual Luau party every spring, the Phi Kapps came in first place as best fraternity on Pitt’s campus this year. According to Rob Sully, president of Phi Kappa Theta, planning for the luau starts in January and it takes about three months to get all avenues planned. Currently with 41 members and 13 pledges, they are looking to increase participation within the Greek community on campus.

“I don’t know whether or not we’re better than any other fraternity, but we’ve improved internally a whole lot over the last three years,” Sully said. The Phi Kapps are currently working with their nationals to set up an intercollegiate charity function between Pitt, Duquesne University and Carnegie Mellon University. “Winning best fraternity is a nice compliment, and now that we’re back and partying, we’re going to try to live up to the title,” Sully said.

– Christine Claus, staff writer

Best sorority: Theta Phi Alpha

At a time when Catholic women were not welcome to fraternal organizations, 10 founding Catholic sisters at the University of Michigan created Theta Phi Alpha in 1912. They stood for ideals of sisterhood, society, scholarship, friendship and service. Since then, Theta Phi Alpha has expanded to include women of all religions and beliefs and can be described as friendly, motivated and diverse.

Theta Phi Alpha supports two national philanthropic causes, the Glenmary Lay Missioners and the House That Theta Phi Alpha Built.

At Pitt, the Kappa chapter of Theta Phi Alpha was founded in 1922. These energetic sisters worked this year already to raise money for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. They walked for diabetes, volunteered at the Animal Rescue League and adopted Semple Street for cleanup.

Theta Phi Alpha sisters are active in many campus organizations, such as the Pitt Pathfinders, the University Chamber Orchestra, the Women’s Choral Ensemble, the Golden Key Honor Society and the National Society of Collegiate Scholars.

With 40 active sisters and 10 women pledging this fall, we can expect to see Theta Phi Alphas adamantly participating in Greek Week events and helping out the Pitt community all throughout the year, making them the best sorority at Pitt.

– Nikki Schwab, staff writer

Best free thing Pitt offers: Buss Pass

Yes, we at Pitt have been given a great gift as urban college students. We only save our change to do the laundry. Need to use the bus? Just flash your trusty Pitt ID, and you’re off to anywhere you need to go, from Monroeville to the airport. Fare zones? Downtown area? Peak hours? Ha! We don’t need to understand any of them! Not that anyone does, anyway.

In addition to the Port Authority bus system, Pitt students can ride the “T” light rail system and the world-famous Monongahela and Duquesne Inclines. Of course, we cannot exactly say that Pitt offers “free stuff,” as we are reminded every time they raise the tuition rates. However, as things go, broad access to the bus and transit system is a rarity among urban colleges. Just ask New York University.

– Michael Mastroianni, staff photographer

Best reason to skip class: Sleep

Some time in the second week of classes, many students undoubtedly wake up one morning, roll out of bed, then check the syllabus for their 10 a.m. class to see what their attendance requirements are. Another hour of sleep, they may decide, is just cause to use up one of their three unexcused absences for the semester.

College is a time of late nights – some students work a late-evening job to pay the bills, and others just need to get to the end of “Final Fantasy III” before Wednesday. And just as alcohol diminishes the perceived necessity of sleep in the evening, class in the morning augments it.

The result is that early mornings turn into late mornings, which, in turn, become early afternoons. And no, you didn’t sleep through your alarm. You unplugged it.

– Marty Flaherty, Copy Chief

Best Bus Route: 71A

The 54C is still cocky about being last year’s champ, and the 61C thinks she’s special because she has her own cafe. But this year, the 71A put the smack down on all the other Pittsburgh city bus routes and showed what you really want – a classy ride.

Never before have you wanted a man who gets around as much as the 71A, but this champ will run you all over town with style. From Lawrenceville to Downtown, the 71A – called “Negley” by those who know him well – will take you for a nice, long ride.

Don’t worry if you’re not ready for commitment – he’ll understand. You can get off at Highland Park, East Liberty, Shadyside or Oakland. But no matter how much time you spend with him, the 71A will never leave you hanging – as long as you don’t look for him between the hours of about 2 and 5 a.m., when he leaves the streets for a little time off from his roaming ways.

Flexibility, reliability and no unreasonable expectations of commitment – what more could you want in a relationship?

– J. Elizabeth Strohm, News Editor

Best Pitt Scandal: Basketball Tickets

Again this year, student basketball fans feel cheated.

Pitt’s athletics department attempted to make this year’s process for choosing which students get season tickets for basketball judicious. Last season, wristbands were handed out to students at Midnight Madness and students had to rely on being one of 1000 students chosen in a lottery.

This year, fans were supposed to be able to log onto Pitt athletics’ Web site, and the first 1400 students to enter a valid Pitt ID number, e-mail address and credit card number were supposed to get tickets.

Somehow, the athletics department did not have the foresight to make sure that it beefed up the Web site’s capacity. As a result, when thousands of students attempted to log on and get their tickets at the same time, the Web site crashed.

To make matters worse, the Petersen Events Center’s ticket office began selling tickets over the phone and to students who walked up to the Pete. Those students who could not make it to the Pete or continued following the procedure that the athletics department set were out of luck and season tickets.

Now students without tickets have to depend on current season ticket holders not to pick up their tickets for certain games. If this occurs, unclaimed tickets go back on sale to students.

– Kevin Nash, Assistant Sports Editor

Best on-campus job: Pathfinder

So you’re looking for a job where you can influence the futures of impressionable youth but you don’t have a teaching degree? Why not be a Pathfinder? It’s an opportunity to advertise your school to potential freshman while getting paid. Almost everyone remembers when they were led around Pitt by a Pathfinder and shown all of the sights, from the C-Side Marketplace where you can “Eat all you want” for just one block, to the rooms of Towers which are “Really a lot roomier than they appear.” And how many people discovered their sudden love for college sports when told students could get great deals on season tickets?

To many, a Pathfinder was their first taste of Pitt and college life in Oakland. They may even be the person who convinced them to attend Pitt. And if that power to change someone’s future isn’t enticing enough, just remember what really makes being a Pathfinder the best job at Pitt – the blue and yellow-striped shirts.

– Mike Boyles, staff writer

Best reason to call 4-FACT: Directions

You have half an hour to get Downtown and you lost the directions to the venue where your friends are waiting. What to do; what to do? The City of Pittsburgh is a maze of confusion, and who better to get one out of that maze than the good people at Telefact? Besides being able to answer quite possibly every question plaguing the minds of humankind, Telefact is also the best place for a student to call when in need of directions. The hot line is run by a virtual think tank of fellow students who can provide quick and easy-to-understand directions to anywhere in the Pittsburgh area. As long as you know the street name and the name of the place that you’re trying to find, one short phone call to (412) 624-3228 (4-FACT) can get you there. Telefact can also provide information on bus routes and the fastest bus ride to your destination.

– Amanda Waltz, staff writer

Best way to pay for tuition: Parents

Parents are the best way to pay for college tuition because it means you, the students, have no major financial responsibilities to worry about. While the students who pay their own way through college are admirable, students who have their tuitions paid by parents should not be discredited as lazy freeloaders.

There is no shame in having your parents pay tuition – as long as you realize that you cannot live off Mom and Dad’s money all your life. In theory, your parents are paying so that you may make the most of your time in college. By not having to work and earn an income to pay tuition, you gain maximum time for schoolwork.

You study hard, graduate with honors, get a great job, make a lot of money and then buy your parents a new Mercedes-Benz for every year you spent their cash in college.

– Kurt Esenwein, columnist

Best thing to do on a Friday night: Drink and party

After a week of harrowing and stressful classes, students need relief. Some choose to go to the movies, others hit the gym, and still others may just chill in their respective dorm rooms. But apparently those people combined are in the minority when it comes to choosing a Friday night activity – partying has been voted the best way to spend a Friday night.

It can be a frat party, a dirty South Oakland party, or a group of people hitting the bars. Either way, friends, alcohol and music are key ingredients to students’ celebration of the passing of another week.

Truth be told, some of your best memories – or lack thereof – will be made on Friday nights here at Pitt.

Now since yinz guys like to party so much, let’s put some other schools to shame and get on Playboy’s renowned Top Party Schools list – you can do it.

– Katie Mavrich, A’E Editor

Best Secret Organization: Druids

So you say you’re not a wealthy heir of a snotty family attending an Ivy League school? No way to network with other wealthy snobs and take over the world? Not to worry! Pitt has the public-college secret networking organization that puts those silly Bonesmen to shame!

The Druids were actually a recognized student group until the mid-1990s. Then they faded into secrecy, possibly from embarrassment: their allocations request for a new model Stonehenge – “because our old one broke” – was denied.

But make no mistake, the Druids are still here. You can still catch them running around in black cloaks at night, carrying big, silly swords and kissing trees for initiation. In fact, Druid hunting has become a favorite pastime among Pitt students, who get kicks out of accusing their least favorite student politician, Greek leader, or Pitt News editor in chief of being a Druid.

Some say that the Druids are a force to be feared, a powerful group of prospective policymakers who are conspiring together as they hobnob with the chancellor and trustees. Others think that any secret society, especially one at Pitt, is just a fun little manifestation of what would happen anyway; it is power, after all, that corrupts, not secret societies. And others think the Druids are just silly little Pitt students with delusions of grandeur.

No one, though, has summed up the existence of the Druids better than Spinal Tap’s Nigel Tufnel: “In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, lived an ancient race of people … the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing… but their legacy remains.”

– Greg Heller-LaBelle, Editor in Chief