Long before America declared a war on terrorism, in a distant time I like to call “the Reagan… Long before America declared a war on terrorism, in a distant time I like to call “the Reagan administration,” a war commenced against drugs. Since the onset of this new phase in drug law enforcement millions have lost money, family or their own lives. The ineffectiveness of the war on drugs speaks for itself through countless statistics that add up to a big fat zero for everyone involved.

A major target for the DEA is marijuana dealers and users. In 2000, a record 734,498 people were arrested. Of those, 88 percent were for possession. Simple math tells us that the important targets, large scale importers and dealers, were a tiny percentage of the nearly quarter million people arrested.

So the poor, harmless pot smokers suffer most of the wrath while the real bad guys get away. In addition, we all get to feel the strain of paying for this fruitless war on drugs via taxes. The solution is simple right? We need to just legalize pot and everything will be all right. No. Legalizing marijuana is the wrong solution and I believe entirely foolish.

Picture what would happen if pot was legal and, as many hope to see, regulated by the government. There exists something called a SIN tax on cigarettes and alcohol. I don’t think anybody’s missing the moral message here. Imagine what kind of SIN tax would be placed on pot. An average eighth of South Oakland chronic runs about $45 to $50. That’s “kind bud,” lower quality “shwag” is a rarity anymore, but regardless extremely hard on the wallet. Add a federal tax on that, which will be steep and increasing annually, and an afternoon of blowing your mind on Pink Floyd and PlayStation2 turns into an extremely costly affair.

Sounds like selfish, trivial speculation right? Proponents of legalizing marijuana point out the obvious fact that the number of inmates in American prisons will decrease and consequently so will the burden on taxpayers. True, but they neglect to tell you that those who actually get prison sentences weren’t just toting around a sack for themselves and their friends to smoke.

According to the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, or NORML, possession of 30 grams or less is a misdemeanor in Pennsylvania, which is punishable by 30 days in prison or fines up to $500. Not too bad when you consider that’s a huge bag of pot. Of course anyone with a bag that size is going to be hit with intent to sell.

But let’s be logical here. Most of you potheads out there don’t have the money to get ounces or more (really big bags for those of you who may not know) unless it’s a special occasion or you’re doing some small time dealing. So who are these people that are getting busted? Anyone who actually smokes that much deserves the wake up call.

Legalizing pot would make it seem all right to smoke your whole life. I’m sure many people would still grow out of it but an increasing percentage would probably continue to smoke on a frequent, if not daily, basis. Sure it’s all right to pass away your college years in a stinky green haze, but let’s face it – old stoners are pathetic.

It is and should be a crime to be in your late 20s and older and still smoking bowls with high school kids. Old heads, as they’re called where I live, are those super skinny old dudes that you frequently see at parties who try to pick up drunk chicks and tell you stories about the time they went to see Bad Company in concert. I can’t stand those guys.

A better solution would be a turn-the-other-way policy in which cops focus on busting the huge dealers and importers and leave the potheads alone. Driving under the influence should still be a crime, walking while stoned shouldn’t. Minor possession should at best be a slap on the wrist. This way prices stay the same, prisons save more room, and the government doesn’t get to interfere.

Or better yet, smokers should start growing their own for personal use. A UV lamp and some soil is much cheaper than buying it off the dude that lives down the street.

Seth Steinbacher is high right now. E-mail him at [email protected].