Our president has declared his intention to disregard worldwide cries for peace and… Our president has declared his intention to disregard worldwide cries for peace and diplomacy and take military action against Iraq. He has stated Saddam Hussein must leave the country in order to avoid war. What President Bush has apparently failed to comprehend is that when the United States carries out military action, it will not be against Hussein, but the Iraqi people.

Let’s give Bush the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he’s not a bull-headed moron bent on getting his own way. Even if this is a bluff, does he really think Hussein will relinquish power? Maybe he’s really a big softie at heart and he’ll give up his unlimited authority to save the lives of his countrymen. But since he has already slaughtered thousands of them himself, I sincerely doubt it.

So America will be forced into action and will bomb the hell out of Iraq. There are consequences that our government seems to be glossing over. If we go to war against Iraq, we’ll certainly win. Fine. In doing so, we’ll also make a martyr out of Hussein to all the people in the Middle East who think America is a big white devil. What better way to show our beneficence than by blowing up a few thousand of them? Then everyone here will be shocked when terrorists strike back and murder American civilians. Killing begets more killing.

Once the war is over and Hussein has been dealt with, the Iraqi people will be “liberated.” Apparently when we say liberated, we mean released from the mortal coil. The surviving population will be set free to build a democracy in an already impoverished country decimated by American bombs. Oh yeah, and they have so many great examples of how to build a functioning democracy in their neighborhood – just look at Iran.

It will be our responsibility to help the Iraqi people reconstruct their country. We’ve had such great successes in the past, although, thanks to the American media, nobody hears about them. Anybody heard anything about Afghanistan lately? Didn’t we just fight a war there a few months ago?

But hey, screw the United Nations. The American attitude towards the United Nations is like Ike Turner’s toward Tina. We made you what you are, you ain’t nothing without us. What? You don’t want to pass a resolution to go to war? How about I break your nose? Don’t be that way baby, America loves you. Fine, you need us. You’ll be back.

We have backing from some of the international community. Britain and Spain are right behind us the whole way. The foppish Tony Blair has got our backs. There’ll be tea and scones for all 250,000-plus American combat personnel in the area. Tally-ho!

Then of course there’s Spain – Spain? The last time Spain has done anything of significance in the world was when it colonized and exploited the Americas 500 years ago. Maybe Spain just feels it’s time to get back in the international scene. It’s been on a few dates, shopped around and decided that America has the biggest, sweetest ass to latch its lips onto.

I am being unfair, we aren’t entirely alone. The Israeli government applauds our tough stance with Saddam. They know all about blowing up the homes of Arabic people. Of course, they have to deal daily with the tragedy of terrorist attacks in their communities. Angry Palestinians kill Israelis and angry Israelis kill Palestinians. Nothing gets resolved. Brilliant thinking, everybody.

But what about all those countries like Russia and France that don’t want a war? Or how about the millions of Americans and citizens worldwide who demand peace and are constantly pointing out the hypocrisy and flaws in the war logic? Apparently they don’t count. You never see them on the news anyway – or marching down Forbes. The ones who want blood are the ones in power. Whether anybody likes it or not, the American government always gets its way.

Seth Steinbacher feels disenchanted. Cheer him up at [email protected].