What to do with a liberal arts degree

Colorado and Washington State recently legalized marijuana, but with the legalization of a substance comes a lot of tricky details. So Washington State is looking to hire a marijuana consultant to help sort out information about the industry, including “product infusion,” safety, growth and harvest. Officials are looking for someone with at least three years’ experience in marijuana consulting. So to those who dealt weed from your lockers in high school, step on up. Your experience in safety, supply chain management and “product infusion” techniques might be of great benefit to Washington.

Totally Rouen-ed

Last week a cloud of harmless but smelly gas leaked out of a chemical factory in northwestern France, causing northern France and some parts of southern England to smell like a mixture of rotten eggs, sweat and garlic. The invisible cloud of gas reportedly spread over 220 miles. A French Cup soccer game between the team of the city Rouen and the Olympique Marseilles team was postponed because of the difficult-to-escape smell. Looks like France has become the P.U. of the EU.

Holy record deal

In Sussex, England, the congregation of St. Peter, East Blatchington, has recorded a CD of silence inside of their historic church building. The 30-minute recording, which features a spoken introduction as well as occasional background noises such as footsteps, is sold out after its first pressing. According to an article in the BBC, people from as far as the United States and Ghana are requesting copies of the CD. However, the article does not say how many people were angry when they discovered this “sound of silence” CD was not by Simon & Garfunkel.

Riot girl

Last week, an Icelandic teenager named Blaer Bjarkardottir was officially allowed to use her first name in legal documents. Iceland has strict naming guidelines, and citizens must choose names from an approved list. After Bjarkardottir’s parents had chosen the name Blaer, they found out that it was only approved as a boy’s name, despite gaining wider recognition as a girl’s name. What’s a government to do when a name doesn’t fit the list? Bjarkardottir’s first name was officially “Girl” up until last week’s ruling. Finally, we’ve found the person to whom the Beatles addressed all of those love songs.

Can I get one with Dumbledore’s face on it?

Although it’s a common myth that the popular third-grade lunch snack Twinkies can survive years without spoiling, one man has proven that Twinkies have a disappointingly short shelf life. The man is selling a rotting and molding Twinkie on Ebay in order to prove that the snack food can, in fact, go bad. Everyone, it’s time to make the proper revisions to your zombie apocalypse plans.