Holy Twitter!

Pope Benedict XVI is embarking on a new technological adventure, as he has announced that he will start a Twitter to reach his … er, followers. While an official name for the Twitter has not yet been announced, many speculate that it will be @BenedictusPPXVI, the pope’s Latin title and name. We can imagine that he’ll learn from Tom Haverford of Parks and Recreation and sign off his tweets with #blessed.

Off with her head

The Tower of London is one of England’s most-visited historical attractions. It has been a fortress, a castle, and is now a tourist attraction at which Anglophiles can see where Anne Boleyn was beheaded and where the Crown Jewels are stored. Recently, someone sneaked into the Tower in the early-morning hours and stole a set of keys — a major breach of security. A police spokesman said that they were investigating the incident — and we can only conclude that means the Queen has James Bond on the case.

Opossum style

In the small town of Brasstown, North Carolina — which is called the Opossum Capital of the World on its website — a 20-year-old tradition of “lowering” an opossum on New Year’s Eve has been barred by a judge, who ruled that participants in the tradition did not have the necessary permits to do so. The town’s tradition involves suspending a possum in a clear box decorated with tinsel and lowering it to the ground in celebration of the holiday. Perhaps Punxsutawney Phil will now also have to secure the correct paperwork to legally pop out and see his shadow every year.

City of free love

In San Francisco, activists for nudity are assembled on the steps of City Hall to protest a proposed ban on public nudity. They claim that such a ban would deprive them of their rights to freedom of speech. The proposed bill would still allow public nudity at certain parades, fairs, festivals and on certain beaches. While we fully support constitutional rights to freedom of speech, we wonder if anyone will listen; after all, Mark Twain once said: “Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

East of the East

For those who are sports-challenged, it’s about to become trickier to keep track of sports organizations. The Big East Conference has announced that it will split into two divisions, the Big East-East Division, and the Big East-West Division. A spokesperson for the Big East said that this change was made to keep “natural rivals” together and to make it simpler for people to know which teams are in which divisions. We propose a new type of conference: The Big East Compass — why stop at East-East and East-West?