Dumbo, the sequel

In South Korea, an elephant named Koshik has learned to imitate human speech sounds and say some intelligible phrases in Korean. Native Korean speakers listened to Koshik and were able to understand several words and phrases like, “yes,” “no,” “good,” and “sit down.” While there is no evidence to suggest that Koshik actually understands human language, researchers suggest that the elephant adopted human-like speech because of early years spent as the only elephant at a zoo. His main interaction was with humans, and he may have developed this technique to increase socialization. If Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney is elected, we think we have a suggestion for an ambassador to South Korea.

Remember, remember the fifth of November

For the British holiday Guy Fawkes Night, it is traditional to burn effigies of revolutionary Guy Fawkes. However, an English town called Edenbridge has a tradition of making effigies of modern celebrities. This year’s is a model of Lance Armstrong, who recently had his Tour de France awards revoked because of doping offenses. The effigy holds a sign that says, “For sale: racing bike, no longer required.” We imagine that the residents of the town might also sport yellow plastic bracelets that say “Burnstrong” at the event.

Snake on a delivery truck

Near Johannesburg, post office workers fled for safety when a one-yard-long white python slithered out of a mailbag. Although the snake is not venomous, those at the scene described it as the most traumatic thing to ever happen at the post office. The snake had apparently been shipped by express mail along with three others. We don’t know why someone express-mailed snakes, but we could try asking Samuel L. Jackson, who allegedly accompanied the snakes on their plane ride to South Africa.

He cannot tell a lie

Ancestry.com recently discovered that the actor George Clooney, one of three people to have been given the title of “Sexiest Man Alive” twice by People Magazine, is a distant relative of Abraham Lincoln, whose appearance was considered by some, well, ungainly. Apparently Clooney, who is very politically active, is Lincoln’s half-first cousin five times removed, because their first ancestors were half-siblings. In other news, Clooney has started to feel resentful of Daniel Day Lewis for stealing his rightful role in the upcoming movie about the president’s life.