We’ll always have F*cking

Towns with peculiar names often… We’ll always have F*cking

Towns with peculiar names often embrace their claim to fame, but residents of F*cking, Austria, say they’re fed up with incessant ridicule. To diminish their village’s notoriety, some locals have proposed replacing the “ck” with a single or double “g,” according to the Telegraph. Whatever they decide, we’re confident the inhabitants of Intercourse, Pa., know how they, F*cking, feel.

Full-Body Scan

Exposing yourself in public rarely constitutes good manners, but John Brennan, a high-tech worker who stripped naked at Portland International to protest security screeners, insists he was “nude but not lewd.” Thankfully, the incident resolved itself when an exhausted TSA employee thanked him for being so cooperative and asked him to put his shoes back on.

Real Escare

Rent in New Jersey can often seem terrifyingly high, but few residents believe they’re entitled to stop paying it on those grounds. According to the Asbury Park Press, however, a Toms River couple recently demanded that their landlord return a $2,250 security deposit because he’d sold them a haunted house. Although many believe the couple had ulterior financial motives, we wouldn’t be surprised if the state experiences a spike in paranormal activity — the careers of most “Jersey Shore” cast members are already close to dead.

Plunging into Criminality

Aspiring robbers, take note: If you’re interested in a life of crime, you’re going to need to get your hands dirty. Or at least, that might’ve been what a Utica, N.Y., man wanted to imply when he threatened a bank teller with a toilet plunger. Whatever his motives were, he should be glad he doesn’t live in New York City — if he’d attempted the same stunt in SoHo, most residents would’ve hailed it as brilliant performance art.

Foreplay

Countless high schoolers dread taking the SAT, but even its most difficult critical reasoning problem can’t compare to the question posed by a nationwide Thai exam: “If you are a teen with a sexual urge, what should you do? A: Call friends to go play football [soccer]; B: Talk to your family; C: Try to sleep; D: Go out with a friend of the opposite sex; E: Invite a close friend to see a movie.” To nearly everyone’s surprise, the correct answer was A. Although this is problematic for a number of reasons, the test’s authors have clearly never watched a soccer match featuring American goalkeeper Hope Solo.